Friday, August 20, 2010

Dr. Roz and Kil: A Woman's Perspective on Sex

Female Fridays!
 I think Kil has made some valid points in regards to sex and how it is the husband’s medicine, but please don’t be fooled to think that women do not think about sex just as much as their husbands! First you must understand what sex is for us! It is an emotional connection and not just a physical release! What other way can a woman be close to a man than physically having him inside of her? When you think about sex from the position of the woman she has to be in a space of physically being able to accept you and if you discount the emotionality that has to take place in order for that to happen, then you will find yourself in a sexless relationship!
 Brothers what you must understand is that sex for us is an emotional and spiritual process. When we are in labor and deliver our babies there is an emotional bonding that takes place instantly with mother and child due to a hormone called Oxytocin! Believe it or not that same hormone is released when we are in an orgasmic state. As much as we might want to fight being in an emotional tryst with a person, it’s a waste of time because that emotional bond has already formed!
            Now I know that our emotions are fickle and you don’t know what type of emotional state that you may be walking into during certain moments in a woman’s life, but if you heed my words you can get the sexual life that you desire. What we crave the most from our husbands is to know that you desire us. Yes you married us, you chose us, you proposed, you love us, but do you DESIRE us? We get having sex with you is one of our duties as a wife, but you have to make that duty appealing! We don’t just want to be with you because we fear the next woman will and when we don’t feel desired by you, we then begin to have sex out of obligation, which isn’t pleasurable for either one of us. That’s when the passion is lost or it’s easier to say I have headache! Again taking in the account of emotions, it’s very hard for a woman to just give herself to you if she doesn’t feel like you desire her.
 Please understand that once we become your wife, we want to give you the best sex of your life,  we love when you make us feel sexy and sensual, and we have sexual fantasies too, but we have to feel safe and secure in that vulnerable environment to show you that side of us!  How do you make us feel secure? I’m glad you asked! You have to be present in the moment with us and genuinely want to know what’s going on in our lives! We want to be sexually free with you, even the purest of the purest has the fantasy of being sexually overtaken by a man. Our intensity of passion will match yours if you make us feel safe enough to express that side of us.
 Our desire to be sexual is elicited by the connection in the relationship! If you don’t talk or connect with us, then we are less likely to want to have sex with you! We desire affection way before we lay down with you. The simple kiss, touching, communicating all leads to our arousal for sex or peaks our interest, if the quality of those intimate, but nonsexual contacts are inconsistent and undesirable, our interest in sex will be undesirable!
So now that you are armed with this knowledge, fellas, you have to tap into the emotional being of your spouse to have the fulfilling sexual life that you desire. Become present with her and let her know that you desire her! Genuinely communicate with her, touch her, caress her, and live life passionately with her! Brothers, are these requirements too hard for you? If you take sex out of the equation, would you still respond to your wife in this manner? We like to know that you are genuinely emotionally in tune with us and not because sex is the end result! So brothers I challenge you to become genuinely interested in your wife and everyday strive to make her feel like you desire her, you might just get more sex than you can handle! Good Luck!


nicole said...

perfectly said......

Dr. Roz and Kil said...

Thank you Nicole! Hopefully some brother will read this and treat his significant other much differently!

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