Friday, September 10, 2010

Dr. Roz and Kil: How Much Time Should you Invest in your Relationship?

The Blacks
This week's question is an interesting question! When you talk to most couples about their relationship, they will simultaneously say, "It's a lot of Work"! Well of course it is, you are merging two completely different lives into one, you can't expect for that to be easy at all. There are two different personalities, attitudes, likes and dislikes and emotional experiences. When you combine all of those elements, you have to manage it as well.

It's just like two companies merging together into one, there are a lot of "what use to take place" issues that do not serve an adequate function for the merger of the two companies, so you have to get rid of those issues! The companies have to work it out in order for the unified company to gain success! This is no different in our relationships! You have to look at the parts of you that are unproductive for the functioning of the relationship and make a decision on whether this is something that you will let go for the good of the relationship! Now the problem with this, is that we all think that we are doing so well in our relationships and when their is friction it's the other person's fault. When we realize that it's our craziness that may be damaging the relationship, it's too hard to look at ourselves and make a change! Blaming someone else is much easier to do!

So let's talk about blame, if the other person is constantly being blamed in the relationship, then you have to equally look at yourself as well. People will only treat you the way that you allow them to treat you! So if the other person is always the blame for something, then at some point, you must not have set a standard up front in the relationship that left the message that you will not tolerate that type of behavior. My point is this, we all play a part in our relationship drama, you have to be emotionally mature to look at the role that you play in your relationship and truly evaluate if you are giving the relationship your all!

In order to maintain your career, you have to put the effort in, I'm always confused when people do not want to put the effort into someone that you consider as family, your companion, your best friend, your help mate, your lover, the mother or father of your child, I mean your emergency contact person! (You see that I can go on and on). If this person plays such an important role in your life, it shouldn't be that hard to invest the time into making this relationship work! So my answer to this question is to spend as much time as it takes to to have your relationship functioning appropriately!


Anonymous said...

Very well said! If you're claiming that you have a "significant" other, then put in a "significant" amount of time and effort towards your relationship. Relationships aren't like fast food joints.

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