Thursday, September 9, 2010

Dr. Roz and Kil: How Much Time Should We Invest In Our Marriage?


How much time should you put into your marriage? That's easy...more time then you put into anything else! If you're a man, you need to put more time into your marriage then you spend watching sports, playing fantasy football, playing 30 and over basketball, flag football, writing rhymes, making beats, playing Xbox and PS3, etc. Women you need to put more time in your marriage then you spend trying to lose weight, talking on the phone, watching everything from Dancing with the Stars to the Real Housewives (of any city), shopping, gossiping, etc. And both of you need to spend more time working on your marriage then BOTH of you spend on facebook!

In one of our church's bible institute marriage classes I heard an analogy about marriage that has stayed with me all these years. The teachers of the class said that marriage is like an ATM/bank. In order to get money out of the bank, you would have had to put some money in the bank. Too many of us are looking to get great things out of our marriage, but we're not putting anything into them. If we know we don't have any money in the bank, do we even bother to go? So why do we expect so much out of our marriage when we aren't putting anything in them? The problem is individually we think we're putting the time, effort and energy into our marriages WE think they need but do we ever check in with our spouse and ask them do THEY feel like we're doing a good job? The same way we check our bank account online to balance our checkbook and make sure everything is the way we THINK it is, we need to do a check in with our spouses.

Our marriages and families are investments and we should want to put time into them. We seem to naturally invest time and money in our children whether it's sports, exrtracuriculum activities or education. But we have to invest even more time and money into our marriages. Every year our church has a marriage retreat and every year Tee and I are like "we should go" but every year something happens and money is tight or just nonexistent and we've never gone in 10 years! But guess what? Money is always tight! But we make time and find money for the things we really want to do because money is always tight but if Sade's new tour was coming to town or the white/grey Jordan III's were being re-released trust I would move some money around to make it happen. But when it comes to marriage conferences and retreats, obviously I'm frontin on them even though I know it would be a blessing to our marriage, I don't move money around to make them happen. See, one of the blessings about this blog is it's not Roz and I talking at ya'll, but it's Roz and I sharing with ya'll what we've learned and also taking our own advice at the same time for our own marriages! So, that being said, let's start spending more time investing in our marriages and Tee and I will mos def make our church’s marriage retreat next year!

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