Friday, October 29, 2010

Dr. Roz and Kil: Do We Really Forgive?

Dr. Roz's View
 I think Kil’s piece is very honest in terms of forgiveness. When we are betrayed by those that have promised to protect us, it is very hard to regain that trust that was lost during the betrayal. Often times, I do believe that we do not communicate appropriately how something has affected us and many times we just move on from the situation without addressing it! Who are we kidding? Forgiveness is hard and it takes more courage to forgive a person than to hold a grudge against someone. Often times we think that forgiveness is about the other person, but forgiveness really is for you! It is not an easy thing to do, but it is necessary for you to be able to move on with your life and past the pain that the betrayal has caused.

We have to learn to take on the betrayal head on! Ask why it has affected us so much, what role did we play in it, and try to understand why the other person would behave in such a manner. Understanding someone’s actions makes forgiveness that much easier. I’m not saying give people a pass for their behaviors, but I am encouraging you to try to understand their behaviors to assess what it is that has attracted you to this person in the first place. We have all heard the saying that hurt people, hurt people, and sometimes when people hurt us, it may be an opportunity to look at your own pain and how you may have hurt someone! No one is such a saint that we will never hurt someone else, but the same way that you want to be forgiven, we have to be courageous enough to afford that right to other people as well. It’s the golden rule!

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