Monday, October 11, 2010

Dr. Roz and Kil: The Top 5 Needs of A Man...I'll Even Throw In A 6th for Free!

Go Eagles!!!!!!!!!!
#1 Sex: Did ya'll think it was gonna be something different? Men LOVE, NEED and WANT sex. What baffles me is like Chris Rock said in "I Think I Love My Wife" how wives send their sexless husbands into a world full of women that are willing to do EVERYTHING a wife isn't but yet expect to him to be faithful and for you two to have a happy, healthy marriage. That's like not showing up to work for two weeks, but still expecting a pay check! That's literally how crazy sending an unsexed husband into the world and expecting a happy marriage in the end is. Come on wives, start earning that paycheck!

#2 Peace: Proverbs 21:19 says "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman". Let's define contentious so that we're all on the same page. Contentious means causing or likely to cause an argument or controversy: involved in a heated argument. So basically what Solomon is telling us is that it's better to be homeless then to have a wife that's always beefing about something! Homeless! It's better to live in an alley then with a chick who's always beefin! Wow! Are you that chick? The problem is, if you are that chick, nowadays your husband probably isn't homeless, because another woman will GLADLY give him a home where there is peace and quiet. Why not fall back and stop being contentious and start being loving? What a lot of women don't understand is that if your husband is happy and at peace, that happiness and peace he has will be seen throughout your entire family.

#3 Support: Everyman wants a wife who has his back. Someone who supports his dreams. Someone to rub his back when he's down. Someone to be his biggest cheerleader when he succeeds and help pick him up when he fails. And someone who shows she cares and want to help her man, anyway (not just the things she's willing to do, but ANYWAY) she can.

#4 Friendship: Husbands and wives are suppose to be best friends, but let's be many actually are? If you look at who is your best friend, you two probably have a lot in common. When I look at my closest friends we all love sports and music among other things but those two things really are where and how we bond. But if you took those two things away we may still be friends but we wouldn't have that much to talk about. I've found that a lot of married couples really don't have that much in common hence why many married couples don't have a lot to talk about. So, to have that friendship with your husbands, wives you need to take an interest in what they like. If your husband likes football, watch football with him. I've heard of wives who don't care about football at all with their husbands but as soon as their sons start playing football, now all of a sudden she wants to know why teams punt on 4th downs...really? So, learn about football cause your son plays but ignore the game your husband has loved since you met him but you want a happy marriage? Right, right...

#5 Proverbs 31:10 Woman: Don't know what I'm talking about? Break out your Bible and read Proverbs 31:10 and get to work!

Honorable Mention Jawn:
#6 Trust: Men who have not cheated...want to be trusted. In my opinion there are too many good men out there who's wives don't trust them for a million reasons that have nothing to do with them! It may be because your ex cheated on you, or cause your friend's husband is cheating and he's friends with your husband, so then birds of a feather flock together, or because you as a wife ain't handling YOUR business so now you're paranoid. But if your man hasn't done anything to make you not trust him...FALL BACK and let your man breath!


Tiffany said...

Oh Kil, Kil, Kil. Most Mondays I nod my head in agreement with your posts. I think this post, however, could get some husbands and boyfriends in a bit of trouble.
Without divulging precious "Wife" trade secrets, let me try to explain. I'm sure you've heard the phrase...Happy wife, Happy life. This is a very true statement and the formula is rather simple. Husband does for wife x 1 = Wife does for husband x 3 (sometimes 4). So I must let you know that if there comes a time when husbands find that their needs aren't met, they can probably trace it back to a few unfulfilled actions for his wife.
#1 - You want SEX, so does your wife. Did you help her out and fold the laundry or put the dishes away just this one time that she asked?
#2 - This same peace you seek is the same peace that your wife needs/seeks in order to maintain some sense of order in your household.
#3 - While a husband is seeking a cheerleader, is he also willing to be a coach and a fan of his wife?
#4 - How many weekends of 4+ hours of football/basketball/baseball/etc does the wife have to watch before the husband goes to see that one movie she's talked about since seeing the trailer a month ago, or going to that concert she asked about? (I, by the way, absolutely love football, thanks to my Daddy.)
#5 - Define LOVE. Keep in mind that Love is action, not a just a feeling. Then read Ephesians 5:25 (be sure to read a living translation or study bible's passage)

In summary, when you go to your favorite restaurant, the waitress takes you to a table, provides you with your beverages, takes your food order, makes sure all is well with your meal, and brings you anything you "need". The waitress has fulfilled her role. Now if you decide to skip out on the bill and not fulfill your role, there's a good chance you won't receive that same level of service, if any at all, in the future.

Keep up the good work. I enjoy the posts both you and Roz share with us.
Happily married for 9 years...

Kil said...

Good looking for the comment and I'm happy that 90% of the time you agree with me. LOL! But I think the problem that goes on in marriage is we do, when things have been done for us, and to me THAT'S one of the key reasons marriages fail. I've been stuck in the "well, Tee hasn't done this for me, so I'm not gonna do that for her", but I 've learned after 10 years (this Thursday) that get's me NOWHERE!

First, I sound like a 13 year old saying that and two, for me being a Christian, that's not what God wants. He wants me to provide for my wife and do my job no matter what Tee is doing for me. It's the flesh that gets me caught in the "well, she didn't watch the game with me, so no roses for her this week." I truly agree with you 100% that your husband should be going to the concert you wanna go to and to see the movie you want to see, I was just reppin' for the men with this post. TRUST Roz has ya'll backs on Friday! It's funny in writing this post last night, I asked Tee what day does this show "Glee" come on that she watches so I can watch it with her to take an interest in something she watches! And just as you said, a husband should be willing to be his wife's #1 coach and cheerleader! I've never been (you can ask ANYONE who knows me) the type of cat who's like "women, do all of this and men, ya'll don't do anything". Marriage is something we BOTH have to work on! And in the upcoming weeks I'll be mos def challenging the men to step up and take their "head of the household" title more serious and REALLY start leading their families! But more than anything, good looking with riding with Roz and I. Prayerfully next week you'll be back @ 100% with me!

shonsteez said...

Nice post Kil. Ive been married for 5 yrs to the same wonderful woman that has actually been with me for a decade now, so really weve been married much longer then 5 in the technical sense. I found your analysis pretty darn accurate personally. Marriage can be work sometimes but at the same time its a wonderful thing if both parties are consistently supporting one anothers needs and actively participating all the time. Cant have the yin without the yang mang! lol.

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