Thursday, October 28, 2010

Dr. Roz and Kil: Is A Man Suppose to Lead the Relationship?

                                                                 Kil's View

A friend advised me that God made it so men would lead the relationship and that woman should sit back and be courted. Do you agree with that assessment? What happened to "teaching" a man or letting him know what you need in a marriage or relationship?

Ephesians 5:23 says "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior". You said in your question that God made it so that men would lead the relationship and I don't belive that's what God says. He wants the husband to lead the wife and his family, not the boyfriend to lead the girlfriend. And even with that scripture I don't believe that God wants the husband to the do whatever he wants in the marriage. The husband is suppose lean on God for knowledge and wisdom and then lead his family. So there is no problem with a wife telling her husband what she needs or wants out of her marriage. Now a woman should be courted by a man but that doesn't mean sit back and do whatever the man who's courting her says. Truth be told, a woman's voice is the 2nd most important voice a husband should hear next to God's.

                                                                Dr. Roz's View

I completely agree with Kil! The whole idea of a woman being submissive to her husband is based on whether the husband is submissive to God First! If he is not submissive to God and receiving guidance from God, then you should have some qualms about him being the head of your household! Who's leading him, what doctrine is he following? If he is functioning on his own accord, then the relationship is bound to suffer. The man should court you, a man that findeth a wife finds a good thing! As women, we should not be running after men, even though we all have probably done it at some point in our lives, I'm guilty of it myself, but it's a great feeling knowing that this man wants to be in your presence so much that he is willing to court you! The problem is, we stopped teaching this to our men  and we stopped teaching women how to allow a man to court her.

 I would caution women in trying to teach a man something, you can let him know what you need in the relationship, but that's very different than trying to teach him something. Most men will take that as you are trying to change him. However, letting him know your needs is very different from teaching! Stating that you are teaching him something denotes his incompetency in the relationship and ladies you know we have to build our men up! Great question! Thank you for asking!

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