Friday, December 17, 2010

Dr. Roz and Kil: What Does Love have to DO with it?

What does love have to do with a relationship? Obviously you need it to maintain your relationship, but does love conquer all? Sure love makes it easier to deal with your spouse's flaws, but is it more important than commitment?

 I know a lot of divorced or separated people that still love each other, so why is that not enough to make the marriage work? All you hear about relationships is that it can only work if you fall in love with someone, but what happens if you feel like you've fallen out of love with your spouse, but you still want your marriage? Is your marriage, really a marriage at this point? When does commitment out weigh love? I'm not sure if we will ever know because nine times out of ten we do not assess our marriages to see what makes it work or not work!

I think Love is different for everyone and it certainly depends on what your definition of love is that dictates if it has anything to do with your marriage or not! I know individuals that are in an arranged marriage based purely off of business, however their marriages last! Maybe at some point they may find love within their marriage, but it certainly does not start off with that lovey dovey butterflies in your stomach feeling!

 It's my assessment that love alone can't make a relationship function properly. Moreover, I believe that each couple has to figure out the ingredients that makes their marriage work, as I am sure that it is different for each couple. However, what I do know for sure is that Love has to be a part of the equation for my relationship to function properly!

Family, what are your thoughts, what role does love play in your relationship?


Anonymous said...

What does love have to do with it?
Well for my wife and I love has been the center of our relationship. I believe that I do things for her because I love her and want to please her. These things not need to be sexual; I'm talking about caring for her. I'll say it; I like to help her with her toe nails. I cut them, clean them, put nail polish on, I massage and put foot cream on her feet. I help her with laundry, house cleaning, dishes, ironing, etc.
I do all kinds of work around the house without her asking me. I know she needs to rest and likes taking breaks so I help. I cook, clean, we play cards, board games, go out just to drive around and relax. Understanding works great for us. Meeting each other’s needs however insignificant they may seem. This has been going on for 30 years. She likes to please me too. When I’m tires and don’t want to do anything she’ll do whatever needs to be done and then we sit and relax. We are happy and content with what we do and have.
I think that our commitment to each is genuine and despite our occasional differences we care for each other and understand that we are different. We are two separate people, entities that want to be together as one. To tell you even more, Just like Luther Vandross song says, I rather have a bad time with her than a good time without her.
Thanks for listening,

Samuel Figueroa

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