Friday, January 28, 2011

Dr. Roz and Kil: Hard Times

At some point in our relationships, I think that we will all experience hard times, but it's how you handle it that makes the difference! When I moved back into the DC area after completing my predoctoral internship, my husband was gracious enough to let me take a year off of work! After working 60-80 hour weeks, on call 24/7 for 2 years straight, a sister was tired! We were able to save a year's worth of salary before I took this time off and we thought that we were going to be somewhat ok! We had no idea that the economy would collapse 6 months later!

My husband ended up losing his job, maybe a year later and I was only working part time. We were living off of our savings, his severance pay, and his unemployment for about 8 months. You can only imagine how stressful life became for us. Our relationship with God was tested and so was our relationship with each other. Looking at each other day in and day out trying to figure out how we were going to make ends meet became old really quick. Trying to encourage my husband (who believes that a man should provide for his family) was very stressful. He is the kind of man that will work five jobs before asking me to get one, believes in paying all the bills, and will work any legal job as long as he is able to provide for his family. So watching him become increasingly frustrated day in and day out made us really reevaluate what is important in our lives!

Even though, that was a stressful time, all of our needs were met and even our wants! Sure I couldn't shop weekly like I was use to or planning getaway trips every now and then, but we obtained something much greater! Our relationship with God strengthened as well as our relationship with each other. We began to take notice of how our life became much better because it was simpler and that we found creative ways to have a date night! We began to value each others' presence and our prayer life increased tremendously. Through this process, our true characters through trials and tribulations were displayed to each other and it made us that much stronger as a couple!

When hard times visit your relationship, take it as an opportunity to recommit to each other, to your God and to simplify your life. You will be surprised by what you can live without and how much more important your spouse becomes to your life!


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