How Do I Get My Husband To Stop Being Selfish With Sex?

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice on how a wife can get her husband to stop being selfish in the bedroom.

Should A Married Couple Attend Different Churches?

Dr. Roz and Kil break down should a married couple attend different churches.

My Husband Is Addicted To Drugs!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who's husband is addicted to drugs.

My Husband NEVER Sacrifices For Me!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who's husband doesn't sacrifice for her.

How Do I Tell My Family I'm Marrying Outside My Race?

Dr. Roz and Kil answer a question about marrying outside your race.

Marriage Exposed is the website that talks about what marriage REALLY is...work. It's some of the best work you can sign up for but nevertheless, it's work.

Have you ever wondered what you'd get if you took a clinical psychologist and a hip hop producer and gave them a blog that dealt with marriage, relationships and everything in between? Probably not...BUT if you did, then you'd have Marriage Exposed! With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the "hard times" of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed. Send us your questions or comments and join the conversation!

Monday, December 31, 2012

The Fab Five: The Marriage Exposed Team's 5 New Year Resolutions

To be honest, I haven’t done New Years resolutions for a minute cause I figure as long as you’re breathing you can make a change in your life anytime you want. Here's a secret...you really don’t have to wait til January 1st! Lol! But this year I decided to make a couple of changes and I kept falling off with them so maybe the magical mystique of starting January 1st will help me push through all of them. So, since I started coming up with the 5 things I was trying to bang out this year, I decided to reach out to the team and find out what everyone’s resolutions were so that we all could hold each other accountable so we can make sure that all of the things we all want to get accomplished in 2013, actually get done!

Kil

1. Spend More Time with God. With everything I got going on (producing music for 10+ artists, writing for Marriage Exposed & Will Make Beats, shooting & editing videos and photos, etc.) I find at the end of everyday asking myself, “did I read today? Did I spend anytime with God?” And 90% of the time in 2012 the answer was no and that’s GOTTA change in 2013.

2. Take Better Care of My Health. Most folk don’t know but for the past 8 years I’ve been dealing with an array of health issues from fibromyalgia & prostatitis to hyper/hypothyroidism and sleep apnea. And a lot of times I get frustrated and “boycott the barbershop” and I don’t take my medication the way I should but in the long run, I realized that I’m only hurting myself so I definitely gotta get better on that front.

3. Lose Weight. Because of all of my health issues, I’ve easily gained a good 15+ pounds that I need to lose. One minute I have hyperthyroidism and I can eat 5 beef patties & cocoa bread and 3 jamaican kolas and not gain a pound & 3 months later I have hypothyroidism and I can eat a piece of broccoli and gain 10 pounds and because of the fibromyalgia I’m in too much pain to work out. So after watching a million Charles Barkley weight watchers commercials during last year’s NBA playoffs, I tried weight watchers and it worked but of course I fell off. So in 2013, I need to get back on point and lose these 15 pounds.

4. Focus On One Thing. For the bulk of my adult life, I’ve always just been a hip hop producer, that’s it. But over the past 2 years, I’ve added photographer, video director, marriage coach and writer to my resume and to say that juggling all of these things plus writing/overseeing 2 blogs sometimes gets a little overwhelming would be an understatement. My goal in 2013 is to focus primarily on my video work and marriage coaching and everything comes after that. Now let’s see if I can stand firm on that.

5. Play Hard. About 10 years ago I heard Latifah say that her motto was “work hard, player harder” and I said to myself “that’s how I wanna live my life.” 10 years later, I can easily say that I’ve worked hard but hardly played. In 2013 it’s time for me and my family to start playing and enjoying life a lot more.

Roz 

1. Continue to develop my walk with God. This is always my resolution, but at times I can become so busy that I forget that he allows for me to do what I do. I want to always stay humble to God's blessings! Gotta stop second guessing God's direction, erase fear from my vocabulary and completely trust that he will order my steps.

2. Become a better wife! I always think that I play my role as a wife well, but I've never consulted with my husband to see if he feels the same. I would like to be better! I believe there is always room for improvement! I'm still learning my husband after 12 years together and I'm enjoying the process and just want to make sure that I am giving him everything that he needs!

3. Health is always an issue! Just want to make sure that I am always becoming a better me and I realize that I need to make some lifestyle changes!

4. I need to develop my Dr. Roz image more and not be afraid to charge what I'm worth. Money is such an uncomfortable subject for me because I am naturally a giver. I typically leave the money aspect of my household to my husband and for Marriage Exposed business to Kil. But a good friend Dr. Hasani Pettiford told me to stop giving me away for free as if I am not a valuable resource. So in 2013, I am determined to become more assertive about my services as my family has to eat too! lol

5. Develop a better relationship with myself. While at times I am very secure with myself I do have my moments of insecurity. As a result, I need to face those insecurities head on so that they are no longer threats to who God has called me to be!

Mar Na

1. Draw Closer to God. There are times when I am striving to spend time with God. Then there are times when I fall off due to being a single parent, working, school and writing. I must admit that I am guilty of not praying more than five minutes at times or not etching out time to read the Bible. So my goal is to get closer to God by spending more time with Him. So He can feed my soul and renew my strength to fight another day.

2. Healing of My Body. In 2008, I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). A condition that creates multiple cysts on the ovaries and can cause infertility. After I had to accept the dizzy spells, insulin resistance was par for the course, my body continued to go downhill from there. Now I have Endometriosis which causes a lot of pain in the pelvic, back and sometimes leg area. Also infertility, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue, Anemia and the list goes on and on. Plenty of women end up having a hysterectomy behind this disease. I want to start loving my body, my mind, and my spirit. Some women don't pay attention to their bodies which causes unavoidable red flags. It is time that I eat right, sleep right, and think right. Negative thoughts have an impact as well. I will ask God for strength in this journey of healing. If anyone suffers with Endometriosis/PCOS check out www.endo-resolved.com or www.pcoschallenge.com.

3. Grow and Trust More As A Mother. Sometimes mothers do not want to let go of the mommy reign when it comes to our children. But I have to trust my son to make decisions when I'm not around. I get paranoid and worry at times. I just have to leave it in the hands of the Almighty Father. I also want to grow and learn more on how to be the best mother on earth. I know that's a hard feat but that is what I strive for, which causes me to be humble by accepting that I still have room to grow maternally.

4. I Want To Finish This Dag On Novel. I am in the revision stage and I absolutely hate it. I love to write but I can't stand the technical aspects of writing: grammar, theme, margins, etc.

5. Do Not Fear. This one coincides with number 3. I am a worry wart. Yes I am supposed to trust God but fear comes sneaking behind me and taps my shoulder. After the shooting in Connecticut, I worry about my son. The news can really make me depressed at times. But we have to know what is going on in the world. So I will meditate on this particular scripture. 2 Timothy 1:7-For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 

Amber

1. I look forward to God increasing my capacity to give to others 

2. I look forward to discovering new things about myself 

3. I look forward to creating a healthy balance in my life 

4. I look forward to traveling 

5. I look forward to seeing my dreams become a reality!


Gregg

1. Better Man
2. Better Leader
3. Better Father
4. Better Friend
5. Better Son

 
As I go into my 40th year, Lord willing.....I wanna be in better shape, mentally, financially, spiritually, physically & emotionally!!!

Intelligent Life: Communication

I know it's a common saying that communication is the key but marriage may be the greatest example of that. So many problems can be avoided with proper communication. I say proper because I've known couples that talk all the time but when it came to making plans or working through disagreements, they rarely were on the same page. So just because there is some communication, it doesn't mean it's proper communication. 

Sometimes in order to have great communication, you have to have some foresight. In other words, you need to see some things BEFORE they become an issue. Great communication will eliminate those issues before they mushroom into a major problem between a couple. I've said before how important it is to stay away from saying things that you can't take back but it doesn't have to be something hurtful or mean that can create the issue. It can be something as simple as replying to a question from your significant other with, "hells to the no." 

I know this because I've been the one in a relationship who has behaved like that & I've seen firsthand how that one response can impact multiple situations. The fact that I was rude & adamant about my feelings led the other person to assume that it would be a waste of time to even ask if a situation similar arisen. This led to hidden feelings of hurt, disgust & frustration. In my defense however, I was always good at being honest about my personality in the beginning of a courtship so that it gave the other person a chance to decide how far they wanted to take things. I would then make a point of reminding her over time of my habits because very often in the beginning, during the "Honeymoon" phase we all tend to hear what we want to hear. So if you're enamored with the other person, you may not want to hear things that don't put them in a good light even if it's coming directly from the horses mouth. 

One other aspect of good communication is being comfortable in expressing how you feel about one another. It may sound strange to some but there are certainly people who have a difficult time saying how much they care for someone. It's easier for some to express it through their ways & actions as opposed to their words. Be honest with yourself without having to go through some kind of counseling session about how you are in a relationship. If you're the type who doesn't express themselves through words, then by all means, let your significant other know this. It can avoid a lot of confusion for the other person. 

I can remember back in the day, meeting a woman, getting her phone number & trying to decide when was the right time to call. As I got older & more mature, I stopped caring about how it looked & called as soon as I had a chance. The way I saw it was I stopped her & got her information for a reason so why play the game of, "is it too soon to call" or "I don't wanna seem thirsty." I mean, I was attracted to her enough to stop her, spark up a conversation & then get her number so after all of that, now I'm going to pretend that I'm not THAT interested. It made no sense to me. The same night I met my future wife I called her. I didn't see the sense in waiting since we had had a nice long interesting conversation face-to-face. Point being, it was a way of communicating to her that I was definitely interested. I followed that up by asking her to join me on an errand run into NYC. Nothing flashy just some alone time in my car to talk some more. More communication. All of this contributed to her taking a greater interest in me because if nothing else, I didn't seem to have any of the hangups that so many other guys did. It promoted an air of confidence not thirst. Evidently it worked since we are now married & have a 5 month old daughter together. 

Again, the main point I'm driving home here is the importance of proper communication. So many problems & issues can be avoided by applying that to your relationship. Don't wait until you're knee deep in an issue, have the foresight to see it coming & discuss it while there are a minimal amount of emotions involved because if you wait until after the problems have arisen they can escalate faster than you can imagine. Of course, you have to be honest with each other but as equally important, be honest with yourself about your own tendencies & habits. I truly believe that my wife would tell you that one of the things she loves about me is that I communicate things well & take the initiative when it comes to solving problems. No relationship is without its up & downs but proper communication can create way more peaks & lessen the valleys.



Brian Hamilton

About the author:

Brian “Beezo” Hamilton is a producer and writer from Mt. Vernon, New York. Brian recently married the love of his life and they share a daughter, Aylen together. Brian has 3 other children he fathered who are all in college. His hope is to share what he has found in his marriage to help others strengthen the bond with their families also.

Follow him @ Twitter

Friday, December 28, 2012

Dr. Roz and Kil: My Husband Wants Me To Stop Being Friends With My Male Friend, What Should I Do?

Dr. Roz and Kil answering one of their follower's question, my husband want me to stop being friends with my closest male friends, what should I do?
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Monday, December 24, 2012

Date Night: "A Haunted House"

I can't front, whenever the Wayans Brothers drop something, I'm ALWAYS late on messing with it. When Shawn and Marlon had their TV show, I didn't mess with it at all. But now I set my DVR to record every episode when they're on! When "Don't Be A Menace" dropped, I thought it was "aiight." Now they can't show this movie on cable without me watching me it over and over and over again! So, needless to say I'm not sleeping on this jawn right here. Not to mention, this actually looks funny! Another good date movie to put on ya'll radar.
 

Dr. Roz and Kil: My Husband Wastes A LOT of Money...What Should I Do Part 2

Dr. Roz and Kil continue answering one of their follower's question, my husband wastes A LOT of money, what should I do part 2.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Spirit of Christmas Mix 2012

Well, I can't really call this "Spirit of Christmas" mix your normal "Sensual Sundays" kinda mix (unless you like getting busy to The Temp's "Silent Night") but the crew over here at Marriage Exposed wanted to send some holiday love and wish EVERYBODY who's been supporting us over the years a merry christmas! So throw on this mix to get you in the holiday spirit while you're decorating your tree, while you're wrapping gifts on christmas eve and then when you're opening gifts on christmas day and enjoy this time you get to spend with your loved ones!

Tracklisting:
This Christmas - Donny Hathaway
Let It Snow - Boyz II Men w/Brian McKnight
The Christmas Song - Toni Braxton
Christmas In Hollis - Run DMC
Santa Claus Is Coming to Town - Jackson 5
8 Days of Christmas - Destiny's Child
I'll Be Home For Christmas - Brian McKnight
Santa Baby - Eartha Kitt
Joy to the World - Kenny G
Have Yourself A Merry Christmas - Luther Vandross
Rudolph The Rednose Reindeer - The Temptations
Sleigh Ride - TLC
Give Love On Christmas Day - Jackson 5
What Child Is This - Vanessa Williams
Oh Come All Ye Faithful - Musiq
Silver Bells - Brian McKnight
Never Thought I'd Fall In Love On Christmas Day - Boyz II Men
This Christmas - Destiny's Child
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - Jackson 5
Frosty The Snowman - Remi Ramaget Trio
Silent Night - The Temptations

Link:
Spirit of Christmas Mix

Instructions On How to Download:
#1 - Click the link that will take you to sendspace.com and click the blue button that says "click here to start download from sendspace." DO NOT click any other "download" buttons.

#2 - Pick the destination of the download (exp. Desktop, C drive, My music, etc.)

#3 - Once the file is finished, it's in a zip file and you'll need to unzip it. Right click the zip file and click "extract" and it will pull the music out and put it in a regular folder with the mp3 files.

#4 - At this point you can play the files from your computer but if you want to burn them to CD put the mp3 files into your itunes, real player, etc. library and burn them to CD and enjoy!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Date Night: "Temptation - Confessions of A Marriage Counselor"

Here's the trailer for Tyler Perry's newest flick "Temptation: Confessions of A Marriage Counselor" dropping March 2013. It looks like a mixture between "Why Did I Get Married" (which I LOVED) and "Why Did I Get Married 2" (which I absolutely HATED) so I don't know what to expect from this jawn but it should at least be a good date night flick.

Dr. Roz and Kil: My Husband Wastes A LOT of Money...What Can I Do?

Dr. Roz and Kil answer one of their follower's question, my husband wastes A LOT of money, what can I do?
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Fab 5: Kil's Top 5 Hip Hop Love Songs

Aiight…for some quick background on me, I’m a DIE HARD HIP HOP HEAD! I have lived and breathed this culture since I was a shorty back in Philly in the early 80’s. I may be a relationship coach  on the side but first and foremost, I’m ALL hip hop! So the other day during one of my rap session with my teens, we were talking about suicide and I was sharing with them that when I was growing up in the 80’s suicide wasn’t an option for us but nowadays suicide amongst teens is bananas! And one of the reasons (out of many) that my teens said why they look at suicide as an option now is because of rap music. Some of the girls who had admitted to contemplating suicide said that constantly hearing men degrade women, song after song after song and seeing the women in the videos always being half naked or strippers and seeing a rack of women that don’t look anything like them, made them feel like they had no value. So I had to school ‘em on the fact that at one time, there were actually hip hop songs talking about love and relationships. So just like I had to school them, let me school some of ya’ll who may think that ALL hip hop is about disrespecting women and making it rain in the strip club cause that's not the entire picture my culture paints. Peep game… 

#5 “Shakiyla (JHR)” – Poor Righteous Teachers

"Wake up, the wise black queen is mine." - Culture Freedom

Aiight…now if you’re not REALLY into hip hop my peoples from southern Jers may have slipped right past you but trust, PRT’s “Shakyla (JRH)” was a dope ode to the black woman. With lyrics like, “I spent a lot of time with the queen I protect, you’re the sister close to me, he take her deeper into depth/say sister knowledge god that of queens your existeince, you’re no hooker, you’re no slut, you’re no bitch and she listens/you’re the mother of civilization, I hate them snakes that disrespect ya/they often disrect ya when they find that can not sex ya” you can tell see that THIS is the kinda hip hop we need nowadays. Not to mention I named my kitten that I found out in the hood back in 1990 Shakyla after this song and she's STILL alive in kicking 22 years later! Next time, try naming your pet after a positive hip hop song...studies show they'll live longer!




#4 “The Light” – Common 

“If Heaven had a height, you would be that tall.” - Common

This is another Dilla produced masterpiece that got Com some of his most airplay and even got Com his first grammy nod back in '01. I remember reading an interview with Com saying that he’s gotten MAD request to perform this songs at weddings and if that’s not a hip hop love song, I don’t know what is.




#3 “You Got Me” – The Roots

“Started building with her constantly ‘round the clock, now she in my world like hip hop.” – Black Thought

This is one of my fave hip hop songs EVER cause I can literally listen to this song on repeat for hours and trust me...I’ve done it. Plus with lines like “yeah, so what you sayin is I can trust you, is you crazy? You’re my king for real, but sometimes relationships get ill” and “I seen people caught in love like whirlwinds, listening to squads and listening to girlfriends/that’s exactly the point where they whole world ends, lies come in and that’s where the drama begins” it mos def deals with the ups and downs of relationships.




#2 “Bonita Applebum” – A Tribe Called Quest 

"You're like a hip hop song." - Q Tip

EVERTHING about this songs not only screams hip hop but it screams love. From the Little Feet breakbeat to the R.A.M.P. sample I don't know if there's EVER been a smoother hip hop song made about a shorty. It's like this song was hip hop's 1st crush on a somebody. And the remix?!?!? Don't even get me started on the remix. "I flirted and I flirted 'til there was no end, but she kicked the diabolical as if we were friends" come on, what dude can't relate to feeling like that? And the way Tip freaked the Isley's "Between the Sheets" sample YEARS before the rest of hip hop jumped on it just helps certifiy the original AND the remix in my eyes as one of hip hop's ILLEST love songs.
 



#1 "You're All I Need" - Method Man featuring Mary J. Blige
"Shorty, I'm there for you anytime you need me, for real girl it's me in your world, believe me." - Meth

Do I even have to explain this one?
 



Kil

About the author:

Kil is a relationship coach, producer, writer, photographer, director and co-creator of Marriage Exposed. He has been married 12 years to his beautiful wife Tanya and they have a beautiful daughter together, Naomi. Through Marriage Exposed & coaching couples with Dr. Roz, Kil encourages people to always continue to fight for their marriages and relationships.

Follow him @ Twitter | Website | Facebook

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I Can't Call It: "Woman to Woman" - Keyshia Cole

Written by Kil

I’ve been rocking with Keyshia Cole ever since I saw her video for “I Changed My Mind” back in '04. She was a ‘lil hood shorty with the ill soulful voice who reminded me of a young Mary J. Blige. When her first album “The Way It Is” dropped I was all in with Keysh cause that album had a TON of bangers on it. From “I Just Want It To Be Over”, “Love” and “You’ve Changed” (the original one with her singing over the Just Blaze produced “Song Cry”, not the replayed one on the album version) to my personal favorite banger “I Should’ve Cheated.” This album STAYED in my rotation and had me looking forward to what Keysh was gonna have on tap next. To say I was let down by her next two releases “Just Like You” and “A Different Me” would be an understatement. Not to say that those two albums were wack but it just didn’t have that “umph” and that feeling that her first album had. It got so bad that I didn’t even bother to check for her last album “Calling All Hearts.” I figured after me not feeling her past two album and with her marrying my dude Daniel Gibson (I been rocking with money since he was playing point at Texas) that since she found happiness that her music was gonna get even wacker, just like Mary’s did. But when I recently peeped the video for her new single “Enough of No Love”, it was like a flashback to when I first got put onto her in the first place cause this song was a banger! THIS was Keyshia Cole! I don’t know who that chick was on those other albums but THIS was the chick I started rocking with from day one. But I wasn’t falling for the ole Jay Z banana in the tailpipe trick, when you make your first single something CRAZY sounding like the old you and all of your old fans think you’re back just to trick us to buy the album and hit us with the ole okie doke and I wasn't falling for that one. But then I heard the 2nd single, “Trust and Believe” and I was like “aiight….shorty MAY be back.” But the thing that put it over the top to let me know that I was getting the old Keysh back was when I was watching an episode of “Keyshia and Daniel” on BET and those two got into an argument and as soon as they got off the phone, Keysh hit up the studio. See, that right there let me know I was gonna get some of the pain and hurt from that argument in her music and THAT’S the Keysh I want. The one when you hear her sing, you hear that hurt and pain. And with her new album “Woman to Woman” on tap, we’re about to see if I’m right about getting the old Keysh back.



Keysh sets the show off right with the album’s 1st single “Enough of No Love” and from the first line I know I got the old Keysh back, "I admit that you almost had me, I admit I was almost crazy, had me thinking of calling that b-tch that night and let her know where she can come meet me." Yup...that's what I'm talking about! “Zero” featuring Meek Mills has Keysh telling her man after he’s been caught cheating that now he’s left with nuthin’, “Get It Right” has her questioning her dude cause it seems like he’s not checking for her any more, “now back to the favorite dress, since when it don’t make you want the sex, does she look like me let’s guess and are you giving her all of the stress you give me” while “Missing Me” is a banger that has Keysh telling her ex, how dare he try to act like he was the best dude she’s had and the album’s title cut “Woman to Woman” has Keysh chopping it up with Ashanti (yup, we’ve actually got an Ashanti siting and shorty sounds REAL good) who’s the next chick her dude’s been creeping with. The Darkchild produced “Stubborn” has Keysh questioning why’s she so stubborn when it comes to love, “nuthin is bruised but my ego, this time the fault is my own, I guess I should’ve called to say I’m sorry, guess I should’ve called to say I care.” The Dream penned “Hey Sexy” gives you that 80’s Prince feeling while one of hip hop’s most underrated producers and the father to Just Blaze’s ENTIRE catalogue Bink blesses Keysh with the banger “The Next Move” featuring Robin Thicke on background duties but my two favorite moments on “Woman to Woman” come into play with “Trust and Believe” and the Jack Splash produced “I Choose You.” Both of these INCREDIBLE ballads have what I like to call that “80’s roller skating” feel to them. I say that because the first time I heard Deniece William’s “Silly” and some of my other favorite all time slow jams from the late 70’s/early 80’s was when my moms would take me to the skating rink when I was a shorty and both of these songs gave me that feeling all over again. And Keysh’s vocals are both tracks are flat out flawless. “Trust and believe me, you’re gonna need me, trust and believe me, she’ll never be me” is what Keysh explains to her ex on “Trust and Believe Me” while “I Choose You” has Keysh telling her man, “if it ain’t you, it’s not worth it, no matter what I do, nothing’s working, baby I know, loves not perfect, even if he could save the world that will never be enough, cause I choose you and if it ain’t you, then it’s just not worth it.” ‘Nuff said.



I can’t front, “Woman to Woman” is mos def Keyshia Cole back to basics with raw, emotional and honest music. I’m not sure if ya’ll peeped it but throughout this entire review I kept saying “Keysh telling her man” or “Keysh telling her ex” so this album is ALL about Keysh dealing with relationships issues, whether they’re good or bad and to be honest, is there a better Keyshia Cole to listen to?

4 outta 5
 

Kil

About the author:

Kil is a relationship coach, producer, writer, photographer, director and co-creator of Marriage Exposed. He has been married 12 years to his beautiful wife Tanya and they have a beautiful daughter together, Naomi. Through Marriage Exposed & coaching couples with Dr. Roz, Kil encourages people to always continue to fight for their marriages and relationships.

Follow him @ Twitter | Website | Facebook

A Day In The Life of A Single Parent: Reverence

Church-goers, do you remember back in the day when you were a kid sitting in church for long periods of time and sleep would creep up on you or friends would whisper and joke around? And there was always someone sitting next to you that would tell on you? And out of nowhere you would get a stern shut-your-mouth look from your parents. I would ask myself, how did I get caught? My parents were sitting on the first pew. Did they have eyes in the back of their heads? Or how about those famous pinchers or pluckers? If you were talking during church service, one of the saints in church would give you the worst pinch in your life because you were passing ‘I like you’ notes while the preacher was preaching. Some of my friends were caught red-handed sleeping in church. Especially, the teenage boys and most of their fathers were deacons or ministers of the church. The boys would nod off and wake up due to a slap upside their head. For disciplinary action, they would have to stand and hold hymn books during service. Those were some of the hard knocks in church back in the day.

Some folks know what I am talking about while some may be saying, “what in the world is she talking about?” But when I look back on those times, I learned how to respect the pastor when he was preaching the Word of God. Also, the respect I learned trickled down to me respecting authority altogether. And of course, last but not least I learned to have reverence for God and my parents. There were certain kids that didn’t need that extra stern look or beating but I will admit I tested the waters a time or two. But some of the children today have no fear or reverence for adults and definitely not God. Is that what is lacking in our community? No reverence to our parents and God? No more fear of wondering if your parents will cut around the corner and catch you doing something wrong? We all have someone to listen to even as adults. We are not exempt from the law. Also, the reaping and sowing rule pertains to everyone. But we are to represent our parents the right way and that also goes for God as well.

Blessed is the one who always trembles before God, but whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble- Proverbs 28:14 (NIV)

In this verse it states “blessed is the one who always trembles before God." God doesn’t want you walking around in constant fear but He does wants reverence. Reverence means a gesture indicating deep respect. God wants honor and respect. It also states that you will fall into trouble due to disobedience. Now God is not staring down at you with a lightning bolt in his hand but he does love when we are obedient to Him and His Word. He is also disappointed when we harden our hearts to Him and do wrong. There are too many young people that are not respecting authority to the point that the crime rate is high and the jails are overcrowded. We are lacking spiritually and we are suffering deeply because of it. I knew as a kid that I had to represent my family everywhere I went. If I acted badly, my parents said it was a bad reflection of them. I still carry that saying with me till this day. But now I am making better decisions because I am a reflection of my daddy, which is my Heavenly Father. When I mess up, I am still looking over my shoulder saying, “dag God saw that.” But I know that He loves me so much that when I ask for forgiveness, He forgives and throw my sin into the sea of forgetfulness. So I am no longer mad at Sister Thomas for the pinching sessions she gave me when I passed notes in church. It taught me to respect the people around me and more importantly it taught me to respect God. Reverence is key.




Mar Na Carter

About the author:

Mar Na Carter is a proud parent and self-published author of Massive Thoughts: Free Verse Poetry. She resides in the 215 area code (Philadelphia) where she does spoken-word at various events and church functions. God has led her into the world of fiction and in the process of writing a Christian novel for young adults.

Follow her @ Twitter | Website | Blog

Monday, December 17, 2012

Dr. Roz and Kil: Why Are Ya'll ALWAYS Talking About God?

Dr. Roz and Kil answer one of their follower's question, why are ya'll ALWAYS talking about God?
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Friday, December 14, 2012

Dr. Roz and Kil: When Is The Right Time To Have Kids?

Dr. Roz and Kil answer one of their follower's questions, when is the right time to have children?
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Fab Five: Kil's Holiday Gift Guide For The Dude In Your Life

Aiight, so with christmas right around the corner I thought I'd dig in my bag of tricks to school some of ya'll women to what your man may be feeling this holiday season, just in case you wanted to surprise him. So if your dude is into gadgets, sports, music and gear, you'll mos def find something on this list to make your man a happy camper this year!

The Galaxy Note 2 or The Galaxy 3

With Samsung having 2 of the illest smart phones with the Galaxy Note 2 and the Galaxy 3 in the streets you can't go wrong with either one. If you're man is into gadgets there's no possible way you can go wrong with either one of these phones!



Brooklyn Nets Tickets

If your man is a sport dude, you'd be hard pressed to find a better christmas present for him then copping him some GOOD (the key word is good) tickets for the Nets inaugural season in the Barclays Center. You can cop tickets here...

Customized Kicks

With dope kicks being damn near extinct, it's hard to find a nice pair unless they're some throwback Jordans or some foams. So if you're man is into sneakers, there's nothing doper you could cop him then some customized kicks. Gourmet Kicks Creator is an ill site where you can design a crisp pair of uptowns from scratch or choose from a design that's already on tap and Machete Kicks customizes for the likes of Wale, Fat Joe, Jim Jones, Just Blaze, Joe Budden and even has LeBron James on record for wanting to cop a pair.



The Ipad Mini

First things first, not to be on my L.L. jawn but I can't live without my ipad. My ipad literally  has EVERYTHING on it that I use on an everyday basis. From my books, comics and music to my notes, photography and videos, etc. and don't even get me started on flipboard. If your man already has an ipad 3 then he's good but if he's still on the 2 or 1, the ipad mini would be a nice come up for him.

 Sonas: Play 5

Do the knowledge on one of the illest systems that can wirelessly stream your entire music library, not only with CRAZY clarity but most importantly it comes with a built in sub woofer to keep your bass on point. Btw, if you're man doesn't like loud music...get a new man.






Kil

About the author:

Kil is a relationship coach, producer, writer, photographer, director and co-creator of Marriage Exposed. He has been married 12 years to his beautiful wife Tanya and they have a beautiful daughter together, Naomi. Through Marriage Exposed & coaching couples with Dr. Roz, Kil encourages people to always continue to fight for their marriages and relationships.

Follow him @ Twitter | Website | Facebook

A Song For You: "Better" - Chrisette Michele

I've got a love/hate relationship with Chrisette Michele. Sometimes I love her music and other times I'm left scratching my head. But this go round...I LOVE it! And quiet as kept, Chrisette may have the new single ladies anthem on her hand with this banger.

"Cupid help me please, cause Mr. Wrong keeps meeting me, and I got a funny feeling love is just right around the bend, so I'll keep on pushing, til love falls for me."

"Better" - Chrisette Michele

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Word Up Wednesdays...Superman Returns


"But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my savior; my God will hear me. Do not gloat over me, my enemy! though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light. Because I have sinned against him, I will hear the LORD's wrath, until he pleads my case and established my right. He will bring me out into the light; I will see his righteousness." - Micah 7:7-9 

In the movie Superman Returns, Lex Luthor nearly defeats Superman by stabbing him with kryptonite, the one element that weakens him and could kill him. Superman falls into the ocean. After being rescued, he makes his way towards the sun because it is from the sun that he gets his strength and power to overcome his enemies.

There are times when our enemy seems to defeat us. He tempts us in the area of our weakness, and we fall. But we do not stay down! Though we fall, we will rise. Though we are in darkness for a moment, the Lord himself will be our light. The Son Himself, the very One against whom we have sinned, will plead our case and bring us into His light. No matter how great our fall or how dark it is in that moment, there is hope in the Lord. He will bring us out again into the light-forgiven, restored and standing in His righteousness.

Prayer: 
O God, against You and You only have we sinned. We thought we were strong, but suddenly the enemy attacked us where we were weak. Now, he stands over us, gloating his power and our defeat. But god, we thank You that there is forgiveness with You. We thank You that we will rise again because Jesus rose again. Thank You that He is a cleansing, renewing, and guiding Light in whose light we can stand. Thank You that our strength and power are in the Son and He will enable us to defeat the enemy. In His holy name we pray, Amen.

If you dig the daily devotions, support Pastor Johnson and cop his book here.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Support: Seasons

I've mentioned before that anytime Roz or I come across a project that we feel strongly about, we'll post the project on Marriage Exposed and ways that you can support it. Next up for our support efforts is a film called "Seasons" which deals with 4 different marriage and the different seasons each marriage is going through. Check out their Indiegogo site and if you feel led to, help support them finish their project cause it looks like it's gonna be REAL dope!
 
Seasons from willbigham on Vimeo.

Living Singe: Marriage Vows Exposed Part 2

Thank you all for the great feedback you gave in response to September's intro to the wedding vows.

First off, marriage is a good thing, designed by God himself. But with anything in life, there are ups and downs. I often hear married couples say that no one told them just how hard marriage would be and how they now feel ill-prepared to handle the challenges they’re facing. While none of us can predict the challenges that will arise in a marriage, I think that coupled with common sense, the traditional wedding vows pretty much gives us great insight into what we’ll be signing up for. Perhaps this is why some couples opt to write their own vows!

So this month let’s check out vow #2: “To HaveAnd To Hold, From This Day Forward.”

1 Corinthians 7:2 helped me understand this vowa much better. It reads: “but, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”This speaks of sexual exclusivity and intimacy that is to be shared between a husband and wife, thus eliminating the need to sleep around. In other words, you’re vowing to be faithful…to one person…your spouse…for the rest of your life.

Marriage is not for the immature, nor is it for the naive. Life happens and temptation is something that affects all of us, yet not all of us choose to pursue.

Deciding to be faithful to the same person for the rest of your life may be difficult to wrap your mind around, but it is required and expected in a marriage. If your husband loses his job or your wife becomes chronically ill, that’s not your license to start playing with fire by spilling your guts to the ever so attentive girl or guy that always seems to be available when you need to talk. You are however, licensed by marriage and required to uphold your end of the vows. You find that you’re no longer attracted to your spouse? Guess what, he/she probably feels the same about you! There is no scenario in a marriage that should make you be unfaithful. You get no pass.

On the other side of the beautiful wedding and lavish honeymoon awaits real lifeonce you cross the threshold.Will you be willing to find the escape route out of your temptations to protect your marriage or will you exacerbate the problems at home by deciding to cheat? Acknowledging ahead of time that there will be challenges along this journey and resolving to maturely handle them is half the battle. Marriage is a job and anyone who has read a job description has seen some variation of the words"and other duties as assigned" listed. So check back next time to for the next round of vows to see if you have what it takes to put in the work!

Blessings!




Amber

About the author:

Amber is a freelance writer living in Hampton Roads, Virginia. After giving her life to Jesus Christ over 12 years ago, Amber obeyed the urging of the Holy Spirit to serve others who are in need. Amber often meets and encourages single adults to make smart personal decisions that will lead not only to wise relationship choices, but also improve the overall quality of their lives.

Follow her @ Twitter

Monday, December 10, 2012

Dr. Roz and Kil: What Defines Keeping Secrets From Your Spouse?

Dr. Roz and Kil answer one of their follower's question, what defines keeping a secret from your spouse?
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Sensual Sundays: Marriage Exposed Mixes #3


I'll be the first person to admit that great slow songs have gone missing the same way great hip hop has. But just like with hip hop, if you dig long and hard enough, you'll come across some gems here and there. So with that being said, here's some of the banging slow jawns I've come across this past year for our 3rd installment in our Marriage Exposed mixtape series.

Tracklisting: 
Refill - Elle Varner
Think About You - Frank Ocean
Pretty Lil Heart - Robin Thicke w/Lil Wayne
Climax - Usher
Trust and Believe - Keyshia Cole
Wicked Games - The Weekend
The Fire We Make - Alicia Keys w/Maxwell
Alone Together - Daley w/Marsha Ambrosious
I Don't Care - Elle Varner
1 U Run 2 - Russell Taylor
Do You - Miguel
Heart Attack - Trey Songz
Everything I Love - SWV
Green Light - R Kelly
I Choose You - Keyshia Cole
Boring - Robin Thicke
Stop the Clock - Elle Varner
The Love We Had (Stays On My Mind) - Joss Stone
High For This - The Weekend

Link: 
Marriage Exposed Mixes #3

Instructions On How to Download:
#1 - Click the link that will take you to sendspace.com and click the blue button that says "click here to start download from sendspace." DO NOT click any other "download" buttons.

#2 - Pick the destination of the download (exp. Desktop, C drive, My music, etc.)

#3 - Once the file is finished, it's in a zip file and you'll need to unzip it. Right click the zip file and click "extract" and it will pull the music out and put it in a regular folder with the mp3 files.

#4 - At this point you can play the files from your computer but if you want to burn them to CD put the mp3 files into your itunes, real player, etc. library and burn them to CD and enjoy!

Friday, December 7, 2012

A Song For You: "Love and War" - Tamar Braxton


If you keep up with the "Vince and Tamar" series then you know not only is this the perfect theme song for marriage, it's the PERFECT theme song for those two!

"Love and War" - Tamar Braxton (Produced by Dahryl "DJ" Camper Jr.)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Word Up Wednesdays...Wonder Twins Activate

“Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.” - Matthew 18:19 

I love cartoons, especially the Justice League, featuring Batman, Hawkgirl and Superman. But they’ve got some new people now and there have been some changes over the years. The Green Lantern used to be white; now he’s black. And evidently, they fired the Wonder Twins-whatever happened to them? Do you remember them? They looked like normal people and actually they were normal if they were apart. But if all hell broke loose and there was an attack against the Justice League, whole everyone else was running in all directions, the Wonder Twins would find each other. Then they would touch and agree and the Wonder Twins powers would activate so that what they couldn’t do by themselves, they could now accomplish.

When all hell is breaking loose in our lives, we need to find a brother and sister in Christ with whom we can pray in agreement. The power of Christ will then be activated, and we will find that we can do then what we couldn’t have done on our own.

Prayer: 
Our Lord, we thank You for the spirit of unity who draws us together even in our crisis situations. Thank you for the power in numbers. It doesn’t take a crowd, but even two of Your people in agreement can see the forces of heaven come to bear on a situation. Deliver us from our independent spirits that think we never need help from anyone. Help us to realize that Your plan is for Your people to come together-in good times and in trials. Amen.

If you dig the daily devotions, support Pastor Johnson and cop his book here.