Friday, March 9, 2012

Dr. Roz and Kil: Are Men Willing to Become Better Lovers?

Dr. Roz & Kil chop it up about are men willing to become better lovers?

Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

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Anonymous said...

What a show! I'm not sure we got an answer to the original question though. Or maybe the answer is No...
Stealing from Love Jones, "let me break it down so it can forever and consistently be broke". Do women cater to the male ego? - YES. Do women give feedback on likes and dislikes to boyfriends about most things, not just sex? - YES. Is there a shift for women after marriage? - YES. We've learned that men don't experience this shift and transition. However, for a woman, after marriage we feel a greater sense of loyalty, responsibility, openness, and honesty to/for our husbands. People have friends and associates for a reason, and while the two may appear similar at times, they are not. You're not going to share sensitive topics with an associate, as you would with a real friend. The coach gives comments at the press conference after the game, not the assistant to the assistant coach. There are different levels and everyone has a position to play. Everyone doesn't get 100% of you. The boyfriend does not have the same privileges as the husband. Men probably still won't understand this, so let's just agree to disagree. :-)
Next, as far as giving feedback on what a woman likes or dislikes in bed, this is a process. At the 28:00 mark of the video, Dr. Roz nailed it. If a woman starts having sex at 18, for example, she does not know if she enjoys it because she's not sure how it should feel for her. She has limited experience. Then at 22, she thinks she has an idea of what good sex is but sex isn't all magical like they make it on tv, and her girlfriends aren't shouting from the rooftops how great sex is either. But she's not sure if that means it's 'bad' sex that she's been having. Fast forward to age 30ish, she's been having sex and it's been good and she feels good during and after. But then, possibly during an experience, he moves a certain way and finds that spot. Eureka!! Or, at one of the strangest non-sexual times, a woman moves a certain way and it's a good feeling (I won't give away our moves). Double Eureka!! The point being, something happens and the woman realizes "this feels good", "this should happen more often", etc. Also, just like with anything else, you learn over time new things that you like or desire. So it isn't something that happens instantaneously after marriage as Kil keeps trying to imply. It is a process, one that I don't believe has an ending. A woman can't tell her partner about her sexual wants/needs when she's not quite sure of them herself. But when she finds out, the door has been opened and the possibilities are pretty close to endless....

Sorry this comment is so long :-)

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