How Do I Get My Husband To Stop Being Selfish With Sex?

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice on how a wife can get her husband to stop being selfish in the bedroom.

Should A Married Couple Attend Different Churches?

Dr. Roz and Kil break down should a married couple attend different churches.

My Husband Is Addicted To Drugs!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who's husband is addicted to drugs.

My Husband NEVER Sacrifices For Me!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who's husband doesn't sacrifice for her.

How Do I Tell My Family I'm Marrying Outside My Race?

Dr. Roz and Kil answer a question about marrying outside your race.

Marriage Exposed is the website that talks about what marriage REALLY is...work. It's some of the best work you can sign up for but nevertheless, it's work.

Have you ever wondered what you'd get if you took a clinical psychologist and a hip hop producer and gave them a blog that dealt with marriage, relationships and everything in between? Probably not...BUT if you did, then you'd have Marriage Exposed! With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the "hard times" of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed. Send us your questions or comments and join the conversation!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Word Up Wednesdays...You've Got The Victory!

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God…The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. – John 1:1, 14

Serena Williams is ranked as the number one women’s tennis player in the world. She was playing in a tournament one day in Miami against a younger player and this other woman was killing her on the court. Her father, Richard Williams, was there that day. He was the one who taught her how to play the game and has coached her along the way. He was sitting in the stands, watching. But as it became apparent that his daughter was getting beaten on the court, he got up, came down from the stands, and positioned himself courtside on the same level as Serena. Serena’s game turned around. She was able to get the victory simply because she could see her father. After the game, she said “I just felt like he was really there supporting me. I could feel it more when he was up close than when he was in the stands,” she said. “I just felt like I could take it up to another level.” When humankind was being defeated by the enemy, God wrapped himself in the flesh and came down to our level: “…and they will call him Immanuel’ – which means, ‘God with us” (Matthew 1:23). Because He is with us – God nearby, not far off – we can get the victory.

Prayer:
God, we are overwhelmed with gratitude to You for coming down to us. We could never have made it without Your presence. You are the One who gives us victory and helps us to conquer our enemies. Thanks You for Your presence, Your very real presence, in our lives. We love You today.

If you dig the daily devotions, support Pastor Johnson and cop his book here.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

A Day In The Life of A Single Parent: "Sacrifice"

If Dora the Explorer, Yo Gabba Gabba or Sponge Bob Squarepants is saved on your DVR, most likely you are a parent. During my adulthood I never thought my question to my son would be, “Why does SpongeBob constantly get on Squidward’s nerves?”

I look forward to seeing the movie The Avengers, more then my son. Enjoying quality time with him is a joy even when it’s a sacrifice of my own time. Sure there’s a list of things to do: washing clothes, doing homework (I just started taking up accounting) and sorting clothes for laundry day. But there are times when the duties can have me running around with the lurking reminder that you’re son needs your undivided attention. Even though Tamar & Vince is my guilty pleasure, I record the show at a later time to play the Wii with my little one. Yes, I could go into another room and let him watch television on his own but not seeing my son all day due to school/work drives me to spend time with him.

Single parenting is a joyous thing but also a stressful feat. Being single in 2012, is critical at times due to the negative statistics from the media and negative remarks from loved ones that wonder, why are you still single? Now add a child to it and it gets even harder. The challenges run from needing a sitter for a date night to juggling school, work, and running a household without a help mate. In the past, I encountered certain men who wanted to hang out knowing I needed to be home with my son but their patience became short and some just moved on.

Lord knows I am not the type that makes their kid their whole universe and have no desire for a social life whatsoever. Being social is good, but being social at the price of your child is not. Too many people sacrifice their child by introducing them to anything or anybody, which can create an environment for abuse, molestation and murder. If my son is meeting someone, the gentleman most likely proved worthy of the meet and greet, has longevity and accepts my child. A young lady asked me, “how do you feel having less freedom due to having a child?” I told her I lived my life, and know it’s time to help my son live his. It’s called sacrifice. Matter of fact, a true parent has a Sacrificial Love for their child.

Have you ever wondered how God could love us as His children? Look at parenting. That is a love that is small compared to God’s Sacrificial Love for us. But it’s a glimpse of why he chastises us and loves us, even when we are wrong.

At the present moment, I am attending community college and I would rather relax after a hard day at work but I decided to better our household financially by finishing school. Sacrifice is not always a willingness to do things; it can totally go against how you feel at times. So that means if I want to purchase a new pair of sexy heels to wear, I’ll pass to make sure my son has his boots first. If I want to go out on a date and my son is sick, I will have to pass. When Basketball Wives comes on and my child wants quality time, the DVR will have to come in handy. When I want to revise my novel and my son needs to practice playing his trumpet, I have to write later or while he is sleep.

I never thought I would be watching cartoons almost every night. But that is one of the things my son wants me to do with him. So instead of watching mindless entertainment, I will cuddle up with my son and wonder why Goku is fighting an evil nemesis named Freiza. In layman’s terms, Dragon Ball Z. 

What changes did you experienced since you became a single parent or a parent in general?


Mar Na Carter

About the author:

Mar Na Carter is a proud parent and self-published author of Massive Thoughts: Free Verse Poetry. She resides in the 215 area code (Philadelphia) where she does spoken-word at various events and church functions. God has led her into the world of fiction and in the process of writing a Christian novel for young adults.

Follow her @ Twitter | Website | Blog

Monday, October 29, 2012

Dr. Roz and Kil: "If There's No Dough...There's No Date Part 2"

Dr. Roz & Kil are continuing their answer for one of their follower's question about what should she do now that the guy that she's dating lost his job and no longer can afford to do nice things with her?


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sensual Sundays: The Best of Trey Songz

My homegirl was shocked the other day when she got in my car and I was listening to Trey Songz. (I swear EVERYBODY thinks all I listen to is hip hop and nothing could be further from the truth) I told her "Trey sings about sex, I like sex." 'Nuff said.

Tracklisting:
Panty Droppa
Neighbors Know My Name
Wonder Woman
Scratchin Me Up
Can’t Be Friends
Last Time
Ready To Make Luv
Jupiter Love
Please Return My Call
Panty Wetter
I Gotta Go
On Top
Role Play
It Would Be
Made To Be Together
Pleasure Interlude
Does She Know That
More Than That
Dive In
One Love
Sex For Your Stereo

Link: 
The Best of Trey Songz

Instructions On How to Download: 
#1 - Click the link that will take you to sendspace.com and click the blue button that says "click here to start download from sendspace." DO NOT click any other "download" buttons.

#2 - Pick the destination of the download (exp. Desktop, C drive, My music, etc.)

#3 - Once the file is finished, it's in a zip file and you'll need to unzip it. Right click the zip file and click "extract" and it will pull the music out and put it in a regular folder with the mp3 files.

#4 - At this point you can play the files from your computer but if you want to burn them to CD put the mp3 files into your itunes, real player, etc. library and burn them to CD and enjoy!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Dr. Roz and Kil: "If There's No Dough...There's No Date Part 1"

Dr. Roz & Kil answer one of their follower's question about what should she do now that the guy that she's been dating lost his job and no longer can afford to do nice things for her?


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Fab Five: Kil's Top 5 Cheap Dates

Aiight...times are hard out here. I know more people who are unemployed, losing their houses, losing cars, having to cut back on damn near everything, etc. now more then ever. And if you're not careful about how you handle your finances and decision making during these times, this could very well be the season that destroys your marriage. And I know a lot of couples who look at things like "well, if we don't have any money we can't have any fun" and in my opinion nothing could be further from the truth! Because no matter how broke we are, we still gotta have fun right? There's this crazy concept that you can't have fun unless you're spending money but like Jay said "we was so happy poor, but when we got rich/that's when our signals got crossed, and we got flipped." So the moral is that you can still have fun, even when you're hurting for money and here are 5 ideas I came up with for some cheap dates.  

#5 The Smithsonian/The National Zoo: I know this is only for my DMV folk (cause if the museums and/or zoos in your city aren't free most of 'em cost an arm and leg) but with over 19 FREE museums and a FREE zoo with over 2,000 animals, is there any question why this is a great cheap date?

#4 Hit Up A Happy Hour: Aiight, I know this is the spot most folk go to get away from their spouse but wouldn't it actually be dope to get off work and link up with your best friend? (ummm...ya'll do know your spouse is suppose to be your best friend right?) And who can beat half price appetizers and drinks?!?!?


#3 Netflix and Redbox Are Your Friend: Can you beat having over 1,000 movies at your fingertips for $8 a month and right out the box blu ray dvd rentals for $2 a night? Didn't think so.


#2 Matinee Movies: Most movie theaters have matinees before noon for $5. Who says a good movie date has to be at night?


#1 Have Sex: Duh. I know most married folk don't have sex anymore but maybe if ya'll did we'd have less affairs and divorces going on. Try it out ya'll....it's free!!!!!!!!



Kil

About the author:

Kil is a relationship coach, producer, writer, photographer, director and co-creator of Marriage Exposed. He has been married 13 years to his beautiful wife Tanya and they have a beautiful daughter together, Naomi. Through Marriage Exposed & coaching couples with Dr. Roz, Kil encourages people to always continue to fight for their marriages and relationships.

Follow him @ Twitter | Website | Facebook

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Word Up Wednesdays: All Pain Ain't Bad

"In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help and you listened to my cry." - Jonah 2:2

All pro dad spokesperson, NBC football analyst and former coach of the Indianapolis Colts Tony Dungy has a son who can't feel pain. Jordan has a rare congenital disorder that allows him to feel things but not the sensation of pain. Without the ability to feel pain, he doesn't know if the water is too hot before he steps into a shower, if he is getting a blister from new shoes that aren't fitting properly, or if he has a headache or abdominal pain that needs attention. Pain serves as a warning signal for us. It let's us know that something isn't right and we need to make a change immediately before we do further harm to our bodies. If we are healthy and normal, we don't like pain but pain is actually a great blessing to us. Even spiritually pain can cause us to stop offending behavior, change bad attitudes and draw closer to God.

Prayer:
Lord, let us always remember that we can call upon You when we are in pain. If pain causes us to seek You, it is working together for our good and not for evil. In Jesus' name, Amen.

If you dig the daily devotions, support Pastor Johnson and cop his book here.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Support: "365 Days With Dad - Cbabi Bayoc"

I really started rocking with art in '95 because my dude Sha Dunno had this piece up in his studio that I loved called "Rising" by this artist Justin Bua. I loved it  because it reminded me of Ernie Barne's work but with a graf feel to it. When I first got my first real apartment (not the college apartment but the one you get when you get your first gig) I went out and brought about 4 Bua pieces and I remember thinking I was officially legit cause I had some "real" art on my walls and not that "Sunday after church stuff being sold in a gas station parking lot 2 for $10" paintings on the wall. In fact one of my most prized posseiosons is a autographed Bua piece I copped for my birthday called "The Poet" a couple of years ago that ran me $300. Now I know for some real art coniseurs $300 ain't nuthin but for me...that's like owning the original Mona Lisa!
Since I consider myself an art head now I'm always on the look out for new dope artists and I recently came across this brother by the name of Cbabi Bayoc who's got an ill hand but what really caught my attention was that he's doing this campign called "365 Days with Dad." Cbabi is painting a new piece everyday for an entire year of fathers with their children and to be honest that's one of the ILLEST concepts I've ever heard of. So when you get a chance check out his site and support the brother by liking his facebook page, following him on twitter but more importantly support the brother by coppin' some of his work!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Dr. Roz and Kil: We're Back!!!!!

Dr. Roz and Kil are back to chop it up about the new website, Marriage Exposed.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Friday, October 19, 2012

Kil: Do You Still Love Me?

One day, my wife Tanya asked me "do you still love me?" And I replied, "of course I love you. You're my wife, the mother of my daughter, we've been married 11+ years...yes, of course I love you. Now the question you need to be asking me is "do I like you?"  

It's funny how relationships come 360 degrees huh? Wasn't it back in kindergarden and first grade when you were asking someone do they like you? Or telling your parents that you liked someone? It wasn't about love, it wasn't about are we compatible, you simply liked them and that was good enough. And that "like" seems to be missing in a lot of marriages nowadays cause I've asked some of my peoples who are divorced or seperated do they still love their ex and most of them said that they still love them or still "have love for them" but they just can't stand to be around them for more then a minute! So somewhere along the line we traded that umph of liking someone for the umph of loving them. Cause by the time you get to high school, that "like" just doesn't have the same meaning it had to it back in the day. At that point it's ALL about saying "I love you" and I guess this is where everything changes. So from high school on, all we're focused on as a couple is love and we neglect the "like" part of our relationships but what I've realized is, the "like" is the glue that's holds our marriages together.


So why do we lose the "like" in our marriages? Well, one key reason we lose it because real life happens. When you have both people working 9-5's picking up the kids up, helping with homework, having the kids in football, cheerleading, soccer, karate, girl scouts, boy scouts, etc. (it TRULY amazes me that there are that many things for kids to get into) at the end of the day you're beat and don't have anytime for some fun with your spouse! And if we don't plan to have some quality time with each other, that friendship (which is basically what that "like" represents) starts to fade away and next thing you know, you prefer doing more and more stuff without your spouse. About two years ago me and Tee were talking about how our marriage wasn't the same and how things just didn't seem to be that great between us and next thing we know the blizzard of 2010 hits and we got snowed in and our jobs were closed but Nay's day care was still open so we took her (her day care was in walking distance of the crib) and me and Tee had a BALL for 4 straight days! We had sex, watched movies, had more sex, laughed and joked, played the wii and other board games and had more sex! And that made us both realize that there wasn't anything wrong with us, it was just life had gotten in the way of us having fun. When were we gonna have time to have all of this fun and sex with our normal schedule? And the answer was, we weren't gonna have the time and just like Mobb Deep said that's "the start of your ending."

Nowadays, me and Tee shoot for anytime to get some "like" time in. Whether it's us sitting on the couch catching one of the many shows we watch together (Key and Peele, 1st Take, Tamar and Vince, Love & Hip Hop Atlanta...don't judge me. After working with 20+ teenagers from the hood I need something to laugh at) or watching a movie (til Tee falls asleep halfway through it lol) to us just playing some classic slow jams from the 80's and listen to my wife sing. (Tee has a beautiful voice) We've realized from that snow storm experience that if we don't make the time to spend quality time with each other, we'll be fooled into thinking that we just don't have "it" anymore when nothing could be further from the truth. So I wonder how many other marriages out there thought they lost "it" but it was really just life getting in the way? 

So ya'll already know what my challenge is for ya'll this week right? I want everyone (including myself) to put aside some quality time this week to have some fun with your spouse. Whether that's going to target and buying some old school board games or breaking out Madden or NBA 2K13 for the PS3/Xbox to watching a good comedy or getting a baby sitter for the kids and enjoying a night out without having to look at the kid's menu for once. And I guarantee that if ya'll make time to laugh with your spouse on a regular basis, bet money that you'll enjoy your marriage that much more!



Kil

About the author:

Kil is a relationship coach, producer, writer, photographer, director and co-creator of Marriage Exposed. He has been married 13 years to his beautiful wife Tanya and they have a beautiful daughter together, Naomi. Through Marriage Exposed & coaching couples with Dr. Roz, Kil encourages people to always continue to fight for their marriages and relationships.

Follow him @ Twitter | Website | Facebook

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Word Up Wednesdays: Know Your Competition


"Be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." - 1 Peter 5:8

I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior when I was 13 years old. By the time I was fifteen, I began to really get into reading and studying the scriptures. One thing I wanted to know was the devil's M.O., his modus operandi. I knew that if I wasn't careful, he could trip me up in my walk with God, so I wanted to know how to recognize his ways and learn how to defeat him. After studying for a time, I finally felt that I got a fix on him. I thought, "Okay, this is how the devil works." But at the time, I didn't know he had seven heads. I didn't realize he could come at me in six other ways besides the way I recognized him.

Revelations 12:3 says, "Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on his heads." The other day, I heard a Super Saint say, "I've got my foot on the devil's neck." "That's fine", I thought, "but you've only got two feet and the devil's got seven heads." One day he looks like marijuana, the next day he looks like Jack Daniel's; one day he looks like our enemy, the next day he looks like our friend; one day he looks like our spouse, the next day he looks like our boss; one day he looks like poverty, the next day he looks like great wealth; one day he looks like a threat, the next day he looks like a promise. The enemy comes in many guises. We have to stay close to God in order to recognize the enemy when he comes.

Prayer:
God, help us to recognize how sly and deceitful the devil is. Let us never think that we have him identified once and for all because he can never come at us in ways we do not recognize. He even came after Jesus as bread one time, as power another and as pride yet a third time. Help us to know that he is always on the prowl. Help us to stay alert and close to you and not go our own ways, so that he will now have an opportunity to devour us. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

If you dig the daily devotions, support Pastor Johnson and cop his book here.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Intelligent Life: A Just Cause

There are a multitude of aspects that impact how both sexes pursue, view & behave in regards to marriage. Most men don't grow up dreaming of their wedding one day while on the other hand many young girls do exactly that. For me, as a young boy I never once thought about my wedding day as far as I can recall. I thought about how hot my future wife would be but never about the actual wedding day.

At the same time I can recall my older sister taking things like her junior prom so serious that it made me wonder, if her junior prom means this much to her, I can't even begin to imagine how serious her wedding will be. The whole point of what I'm getting at is that understanding things such as this about one another can eliminate many misunderstandings & frustrations between the sexes while maintaining a marriage. Certain dates & events can hold a lot more sentimental value to women than men. That is an obvious understatement.

One year for my birthday my wife, who was still my girlfriend at the time, planned an elaborate celebration for my birthday. While it obviously showed how much she cared, it almost became a point of contention because I have always preferred a very low key birthday celebration. Going out to dinner was always the most I ever wanted. It was early in our relationship & it was a difficult lesson for both of us to learn, but we both realized at that moment that we were very different when it came to such things. Now any man who has a clue would at least assume his better half wants way more pomp & circumstance than he does when it comes to important dates so I knew better than to think that she would prefer a low key celebration like I would.

What I was able to do instead was begin to enjoy making a habit out of mixing both of our preferences for her big days. I preferred going out to dinner so I would plan dinner at a really nice restaurant that she'd never been to. I knew she loved Broadway plays while I despised musicals. So I'd compromise, take her to a stand-up comedy show or to a funny non-musical play. There's a saying, do things for a just cause never just because. For the men, that is a golden rule to live by in any relationship let alone marriage. You can't just go through the motions & partake in things she likes just to make her happy. If you're miserable while she's trying to enjoy herself it takes some of the fun out of it for her. If you compromise & come up with things that she likes that you can also enjoy, the planning & the pomp & circumstance just add to her happiness. Then while you're genuinely enjoying yourself doing something that you planned for her, it makes it even more special for her.

A residual effect of this approach is over time you may find that you actually enjoy some of things that she holds dearly. This approach has taken us to comedy clubs, small venue music performances, plays & some extravagant restaurants. Ultimately a marriage is supposed to be about two people coming together as one & I can promise all the guys out there, this approach will absolutely help you get to that place.




Brian Hamilton

About the author:

Brian “Beezo” Hamilton is a producer and writer from Mt. Vernon, New York. Brian recently married the love of his life and they share a daughter, Aylen together. Brian has 3 other children he fathered who are all in college. His hope is to share what he has found in his marriage to help others strengthen the bond with their families also.

Follow him @ Twitter

Sunday, October 14, 2012

It's Our Anniversary: Kil & Tanya


I gotta give a HUGE anniversary shout out to my beautiful wife Tanya for 12 wonderful years of marriage! I can't believe that 12 years has flown by this fast! (well, during some seasons of our marriage it kinda dragged on lol) But the thing that has impressed me the most about our marriage is how we've held it down through the good and the bad. And throughout all of that time you've been EVERYTHING to me. God couldn't have blessed me with a more beautiful, wonderful, caring, sexy and God fearing woman to have my back. So, to celebrate all of these wonderful years of marriage that we've shared I had to break out some old school wedding flicks from 12 years ago when we looked like we were 15 years old for everyone to check out!

Also, Roz and I would like to offer an invitation to everybody who rolls with us to share with us your anniversary so we can highlight ya'll. Email us at marriageexposed@gmail.com with the date of your anniversary, as much as you would like to share about your family (how and where ya'll met, how he proposed, etc.) and a flick of your family and we'll post it on your anniversary to shout you out. We all know marriages are struggling and the divorce rate is bananas which is why we have to highlight marriages that are making it happen. So, we don't care if you've been together 1 year or 50 we wanna highlight that you and your spouse are holding it down and celebrate with you!

Sensual Sunday: Marriage Exposed Mixes #2


Aiight, for this week's Sensual Sunday we've got the Marriage Exposed Mixtape #2 on tap. So download, enjoy and thank us later!

Tracklisting:
Come Inside - Intro
Before I Let You Go - Blackstreet
Bump 'n' Grind (rmx) - R Kelly
All The Things Your Man Won't Do - Joe
Can We Talk - Tevin Campbell
You Send Me Swinging - Mint Condition
Feenin - Jodeci
Anniversary - Tony Toni Tone
Get Up On It - Keith Sweat feat. Kut Klose
Foolin' Around - Changing Faces
Quiet Time To Play - Johnny Gill
Red Light Special - TLC
Shhh - Tevin Campbell
Something's Going On - UNV
Never Should've Let You Go - Hi 5

Link: 
Marriage Exposed Mixtape #2

Instructions On How to Download: 
#1 - Click the link that will take you to sendspace.com and click the blue button that says "click here to start download from sendspace." DO NOT click any other "download" buttons.

#2 - Pick the destination of the download (exp. Desktop, C drive, My music, etc.)

#3 - Once the file is finished, it's in a zip file and you'll need to unzip it. Right click the zip file and click "extract" and it will pull the music out and put it in a regular folder with the mp3 files.

#4 - At this point you can play the files from your computer but if you want to burn them to CD put the mp3 files into your itunes, real player, etc. library and burn them to CD and enjoy!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Word Up Wednesdays: What Are You Building On?


"I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts then into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete." - Luke 6:47-49

Years ago, while I was in St. Louis to preach, the pastor shower me around the city. He took me to a subdivision with homes that were once beautiful and stately, an area in which upward African Americans aspired to live. But all I saw then were sunken streets, cracked sidewalks, caved in roofs and leaning houses.

This area stood as a sad reminder of its former days of glory. The pastor explained that this subdivision was built after World War 2 over a garbage dump. The developers merely packed down the garbage and poured dirt over it. As the rain, snow, freezing and thawing came year after year, the foundation shifted and eroded. So these homes built on garbage could not stand. What are we building on today?

Prayer:
God, you have offered us instructions for building a house that will endure. Whether we are talking about marriage and family relationships or our lives in general, You want these structures to endure. We see all around us people who have built on "garbage" and their structure have collapsed. Now instead of their visions realized, we see only sad reminders of what their lives and families used to be. God, help us to build our foundations on nothing less than the Rock, Christ Jesus. Let us hear Your words and put them into practice so that our foundations will stand secure. In Your holy name we ask, Amen.

If you dig the daily devotions, support Pastor Johnson and cop his book here.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Fab 5: Kil's Top 5 Wedding Songs

Aiight ya'll, I recently realized that 9 times outta 10 that when I'm writing for Marriage Exposed that I'm ALWAYS talking about something serious! And a lot of times with marriage and real life going on simultaneous we're always in a serious mood but we gotta take a time out and just laugh and smile sometimes, even in the midst of the storm. So, with that being said we're gonna have some more "lighter" posts coming your way 'round these parts. And first up for one of those "lighter" posts is brought to you from a convo I had with one of my homegirls.

My peoples usually come to me if they have any questions about music and the other day, my homegirl asked me what are some of my favorite wedding songs. I always think I can answer any question about music off the top of my head but this question actually stumped me for a sec. Since black folk will make a wedding song outta anything (I’ve heard of people wanting Earth, Wind and Fire’s “Reason” played at their wedding…ya’ll do know that song is about cheating, right?) it actually took me a sec to compile a list of my personal faves, so here are my top 5 wedding songs and why.

#5 “With You” – Tony Terry


I think the CRAZIEST thing about this song is I HATED it when it first came out. And I don’t mean, I didn’t like the song, I mean I HATED this song! Money looked like a broke Redhead Kingpin trying to sing and I just wasn’t feeling it. But keep in mind this song dropped in ’91 and at that time the absolute LAST thing on my mind was marriage so a song about marriage? Come on…of course I’m gonna hate it. But maybe a year or two ago I heard this song and I was like “this song is dope!” So, after 20 years, the broke looking Redhead Kingpin cracks my top 5 list.
 

#4 “Spend My Life With You” – Eric Benet and Tamia


Eric Benet used to be the ish…before that whole Halle hoopla went down. I guess dude didn’t get the memo that 90% of his fans were black women and you can’t cheat on America’s favorite black woman, Halle Berry (this was before Michelle of course) without some SERIOUS repercussions. And those repercussions was money losing 90% of his fan base and dude hasn’t been the same since. But at least before black women decided to boycott Mr. Berry, he put out a VERY good album “A Day In The Life” with an incredible 2nd single “Spend A Lifetime” which was (and still is) played at 90% of all black weddings.
 

#3 “You and I” – Stevie Wonder 


This is a song that Tee and I had sung at our wedding wedding (courtesy of our homegirl Tiff) and you just can’t go wrong with Stevie. Plus I recently saw the ep of “Good Times” when Michael sung this at Thelma & Keith’s wedding and it fit the scene so good (not necessarily Michael’s singing but the words) bet money that while you're watch the ep, for a minute you'll forget you're actually watching a TV show.



#2 “We Must Be In Love” – Pure Soul 


I know this group was one of the folk Craig Mack was talking about on “Flava In Your Ear (“you won’t be around next year”) but my attitude is if you’re not gonna be around next year, at least make a REALLY good song, and that’s EXACTLY what Pure Soul did. Even though this song wasn’t a monster hit (in fact I still come across people my age who have never heard this song) it’s probably my 2nd favorite wedding song. (it would’ve come in 1st if it wasn’t for the sentimental value of my #1 pick)
 

#1 “Let’s Get Married” – Jagged Edge


The reason why this song checks in at the #1 spot for me is because the day I brought Tanya’s engagement ring, I got this promo CD in the mail (so this is months before it actually dropped in stores) and I’ve always rocked with Jagged Edge but I didn’t listen to it right away cause I was actually looking for the perfect song to play when I proposed to Tee and I figured Jagged Edge couldn’t hook me up in that department. But after coppin’ the ring, I was reading the back of the CD and saw they had a song called “Let’s Get Married” and I thought…."naw…it can’t be dope." So I threw in the CD and from the door, I knew this was the song! I know chicks always beef about the whole “we might as well” line and while it’s not the MOST romantic line in the history of wedding songs, this song was dope enough for me and Tee. We even had the pianist play this at our wedding when the wedding party came down the isle. Let’s just say our church wasn’t TOO happy about that but hey, they got over it when they cashed that check!
 


Kil

About the author:

Kil is a relationship coach, producer, writer, photographer, director and co-creator of Marriage Exposed. He has been married 13 years to his beautiful wife Tanya and they have a beautiful daughter together, Naomi. Through Marriage Exposed & coaching couples with Dr. Roz, Kil encourages people to always continue to fight for their marriages and relationships.

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