How Do I Get My Husband To Stop Being Selfish With Sex?

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice on how a wife can get her husband to stop being selfish in the bedroom.

Should A Married Couple Attend Different Churches?

Dr. Roz and Kil break down should a married couple attend different churches.

My Husband Is Addicted To Drugs!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who's husband is addicted to drugs.

My Husband NEVER Sacrifices For Me!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who's husband doesn't sacrifice for her.

How Do I Tell My Family I'm Marrying Outside My Race?

Dr. Roz and Kil answer a question about marrying outside your race.

Marriage Exposed is the website that talks about what marriage REALLY is...work. It's some of the best work you can sign up for but nevertheless, it's work.

Have you ever wondered what you'd get if you took a clinical psychologist and a hip hop producer and gave them a blog that dealt with marriage, relationships and everything in between? Probably not...BUT if you did, then you'd have Marriage Exposed! With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the "hard times" of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed. Send us your questions or comments and join the conversation!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: My Wife Doesn't Fight Fair!


Dr. Roz and Kil give a advice to a husband who's wife doesn't fight fair.

When my wife and I argue, I don't feel that she fights fair. She can get away with saying things and doing things that I could never get away with. We're currently in counseling at our church right now and all of the things that the pastor and his wife tell us to do when we're arguing she never does and then when we go in to our next session she somehow finds a way to always make it my fault that she's not doing what she's suppose to be doing. I love my wife, but I don't know how we're going to survive if I'm suppose to be the man of the house but she treats my like a child. What can I do to get her to see things from where I'm standing?




Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Friday, July 26, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: My Husband Acts Like A Big Kid!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who feels like her husband acts like a big kid.

Kil and Roz, My husband and I have been married for three years and my main complaint with him is that he acts like a big kid! I have a 13 year old son from a previous relationship and I feel like I have two kids now! It's like these two are inseparable! They do EVERYTHING together and they seem to want the EXACT same things. For example, both of these kids have told me what they want already for Christmas, it's JULY! And guess what they want? My son wants the new xbox and my Gary wants the new Playstation! This man is 44 years old wanting the same thing my 13 year old son does! And nobody seems to see this as a problem but me! For their birthdays they both want the new jordans or throwback jordans, I can't even keep up anymore! And my biggest problem is that my husband looks at me like I'm crazy when I bring this up. I need a grown man to be my husband, not a playmate for my son!
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Monday, July 22, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: My Partner Is Selfish In The Bedroom!

Dr. Roz and Kil give some advice to a woman who's boyfriend is selfish in bedroom.




Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Sensual Sundays: The Best of Anthony Hamilton

I remember getting put onto Anthony Hamilton back in 2003 from my man Apex. We were at Best Buy coppin' CD's and he picked up "Coming From Where I'm From" and I was like "who's dude?" He told me that dude had the ill voice from the 60's and was suppose to be the next soulman but I wasn't trying to hear it. Ever since D'Angelo and Maxwell dropped, any dude who came out was suppose to be the "next" one. I forgot how I eventually heard "Coming From..." but when did, it was a wrap. "Coming From..." is EASILY a 5 mic classic in my eyes and even though I feel like none of money's other releases even come close to it, he's still had some bangers here and there over the years. So check out my best of Anthony Hamilton mixtape and enjoy one of modern day's ILLEST soulmen in the game. 

Tracklisting:
Coming From Where I'm From
Can't Let Go
Hard To Breath
Charlene
Where Did It Go Wrong?
Do You Feel Me?
Cool
Since I Seen'y You
Ain't Nobody Worrying
Mama Knew Love
Day Dreamin'
Stay For A While w/Angie Stone
I'm A Mess
Please
Better Days
The Truth
Float
I Know What Love's All About
Pass Me Over

Link:
The Best of Anthony Hamilton

Instructions On How to Download:

#1 - Click the link that will take you to sendspace.com and click the blue button that says "click here to start download from sendspace." DO NOT click any other "download" buttons.

#2 - Pick the destination of the download (exp. Desktop, C drive, My music, etc.)

#3 - Once the file is finished, it's in a zip file and you'll need to unzip it. Right click the zip file and click "extract" and it will put the music in a regular folder with the mp3 files.

 #4 - At this point you can play the files from your computer but if you want to burn them to CD put the mp3 files into your itunes, real player, etc. library and burn them to CD and enjoy!

Friday, July 19, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: I've Never Been In Love With My Husband!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who says she's NEVER been in love with her husband.




Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Monday, July 15, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: My Husband Wants Me To Leave My Church To Join His!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who's husband wants her to leave her church to join his.




Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Friday, July 5, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: How Do I Get My Husband To Stop Being So Controlling With Sex?


Dr. Roz and Kil answer a wife's question about how she can get her husband to stop being so controlling with sex.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Monday, July 1, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: "How Can We Get Better With Our Finances?"


Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who's wondering how her and her husband can get better with their spending habits.




Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Friday, June 28, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: "My Husband HATES The Fact That I'm SO Outgoing!"


Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to wife who's dealing with a husband who HATES the fact that she's SO outgoing.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Monday, June 24, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: My Husband Is Addicted To Drugs

Dr. Roz and Kil give a wife advice on how to deal with her husband, who's addicted to drugs.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Sensual Sundays: The Best of Dwele

Aiight...so people have been getting at me saying they love the slow jam mixes but every now and then could I throw together sumthin that's a cool out mix that's a mixture of both uptempo and slow jam bangers. So with that said, check out my best of Dwele mix that's guaranteed to be dope at BBQ's, when cats comet through to play spades or just chillin' with your shorty over a glass of wine. Prayerfully this is exactly what cats have been asking for. And who can front on Dwele? 

Tracklisting:
Find A Way
A Pimp's Dream
Truth
Know Your Name
A.N.G.E.L. (interlude)
Open Your Eyes
Down Jimmy
Whoomp
I'm Cheating
I Think I Love You
Sho Ya Right
A Few Reasons
I Understand
Imagine
Weekend Love
Twuneanuda
My People
Working On It
Dime For Your Thoughts
Flapjacks
Keep On
A.N.G.E.L. (reprise)

Link:
The Best of Dwele

Instructions On How to Download:
#1 - Click the link that will take you to sendspace.com and click the blue button that says "click here to start download from sendspace." DO NOT click any other "download" buttons.

#2 - Pick the destination of the download (exp. Desktop, C drive, My music, etc.)

#3 - Once the file is finished, it's in a zip file and you'll need to unzip it. Right click the zip file and click "extract" and it will put the music in a regular folder with the mp3 files.

 #4 - At this point you can play the files from your computer but if you want to burn them to CD put the mp3 files into your itunes, real player, etc. library and burn them to CD and enjoy!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: Should I Get Married If My Family Won't Be My #1 Priority?


Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a woman asking should she get married if she can't make her husband the #1 priority in her life.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Thursday, June 20, 2013

I Love You...Wait...I Love The Future You!

I've been called out by some friends on turning down dates or not dating some men.  Not because there is anything wrong with them. But, because of where they are currently at in life.

I hear "girl, he has so much potential though!"  The idea of dating someone for their potential is not really an option for me.  Why you ask?

At my current age (not in the early 20's), if a potential life mate is not at a point in life where I can accept him being at for the rest of our lives, I will pass.  I have already had the experience of working two jobs and holding down a spouse while he studied for his advanced degrees.  All this for his potential and the potential future of us as a family together.  After all that, I am divorced and single with kids.

When I think about that circumstance, Kanye West lyrics come to mind:

"He got thay ambition, bably look in his eyes
This week he's moppin' floors, next week it's fries
So, stick by his side
I know these dudes ballin and yeah that's nice
And they gon' leep callin and tryin'
But you stay right, girl
But when you get on, he leave your ass for a white girl"

Okay back to my original points.

I think there is a true danger in being with someone for their "potential".  We see someone in school or looking like they are about to do something we consider big.  Then we start daydreaming about what they will do with their lives, what we will do together, how happy everything will be, etc., etc., etc.

What if those things never happen?  What if life takes a different turn?  What if they change their mind about the direction we were so excited about?  Do you still want that person?

More often than not, people feel cheated out of what they thought would happen. Then they become angry at the other person for not making these dreams come true.  It really is unfair to penalize someone for the dreams you had for their life.

We can become so future minded and goal grabbing, we forget to look at what is in the here and now.  Do I appreciate this person in front of me now?  If they never "become" will I still want them?  If they stay exactly as they are now, will that be okay?  Will I still love them if they don't live up to what I think is their "potential"?

If you answer no to any of those questions, keep it moving.  You can't create someone elses future for them.  You can create your own future and if that person does meet that potential, then BONUS!

Choose wisely too!  You may choose someone for their really bright future and get them through with a lot of support and they can turn around and choose to live that future without you.  Check the character of the person first. A person with character issues and "red flags" can turn on you without notice.

Here is a nice cliche for you: Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.

What are your thoughts or experiences on this topic?  I want to hear from you.



Laura Hernandez

About the author:

Laura Hernandez is an energetic, divorced mother of twins. She is a hypnotist, motivational speaker, life coach and unintentional comedienne. Through sharing her life story of tragedy, struggle and overcoming against the odds, she strives to encourage every person she comes in contact with to transform their lives and live in hope, love, happiness and wholeness.

Follow her @ Twitter | Facebook| Website

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Support: 2nd Annual Bosobel Camp In Jamaica

If you come through here enough you know that me and Dr. Roz love to support people's endeavors especially if it's dealing with marriage/family or a good cause. And our newest #Support effort is mos def for a good cause. A lot of cats know I work with teens in SE Washington DC and a lot of folk ask me what they can do to help out or  how they can help support. Well, I'm glad ya'll asked (even if you didn't actually ask) cause my homegirl Titi is having a fundraiser for her camp in Jamaica this summer and I would LOVE for the Marriage Exposed Family to get behind this venture. I met Titi a couple of years ago when we both wrote for Couch Sessions and she reviewed me and Vegas' first album "The Grey Area" and we've been cool ever since. (and not just cause she gave our album a DOPE review) As long as I've known Titi, I've know that she has a PASSION for helping kids and a love for Jamaica, so this summer camp is truly a labor of love for her. Now trust, this ain't no Sally Strutters "you can buy an african kid for 10 cents a day" scam cause if I cosign it AND put my money behind, you can bet it's on the up and up. Titi is asking for ANY help you can give and no amount of money is too small. Her goal is $1,500 so, do me this justice and don't hit up Starbucks today, take your lunch to work with you and put back that new Kanye album (it's wack anyway...trust me) and use that money to help a kid who is less fortunate. So, PLEASE take a sec out your day and visit her Go Fund Me account here and check out Titi's story on why she's SO passionate about helping kids. Also follow her on Twitter for updates on what's going on with the camp  and if you feel lead to donate, you can click on the link to her Go Fund account which is in the right sidebar on this site. Thanks as always for the support ya'll show the projects Roz and I get behind.

Meet some of the kids Titi worked with last year in Jamaica and the final day of the camp.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Kil: Be A Father To Your Child

When I first started my job working with teens in the Wellington Park section of SE Washington D.C. I had the bright idea that one of my first assignments for them to do was to complete a family tree. Welp…that idea blew up in my face when the majority of them started saying stuff to me like “I don’t know my dad” or “I never met his side of the family! Mr. Kil, how you gonna make me find out stuff from people I don’t know?” And those statements totally floored me. Yeah, me and my dad have had our ups and but at least I knew I could always reach him if I needed him. But to not know who your dad is or where he is or have absolutely no contact with him...I just don’t understand that. Even when I think back on some of my close friendships that I’ve had for 30+ years, I realized I’ve never met or even heard some of them talk about their dads. And when I think about that, in the immortal words of KRS One I gotta ask myself, why is that?

I’ve racked my brain over and over about why a man wouldn’t want to be in their child’s life. Maybe because they never wanted the kid in the first place. Maybe because the relationship with the child’s mom didn’t work out. Or have ya’ll heard the one about they didn’t have a father growing up? If it seems like I’m making a joke about these reasons (or excuses – is there a difference between the two?) why men aren’t in their kid’s life, it’s because I kinda am. Why? Because to be honest, I could care less WHY you’re not in your kid’s life. What I do care about is these men getting back into their kid’s lives. See, one of the most beautifulest (in the words of Mr. Keith Murray) things in the world about being above ground, is that no matter how much wrong we’ve done, we’re always given a chance to change. And that’s EXACTLY what I’m challenging these absentee fathers to do…change.

Men, we have to step up to the plate and do what we’re called to do and that’s to be fathers to our children. Not to just be the dad who teaches his son how to throw a football or who takes his daughter to the park but to be the FATHERS who has conversations with their sons about how to pray and how to treat women. To be the FATHERS who have conversations with their daughters about how men are suppose to treat them and what a godly man looks like. To be the FATHERS, who share their mistakes with their sons and daughters so that they’re able to see that dads make mistakes too. Yeah, THOSE are the fathers I’m challenging all of us to be.

I’m blessed that folk see me as not only a good father but as a good man in general so much that I have 9 god children with my 9th being born just a week ago. I’m also blessed that some of my peoples (who’s history of being a great dad might not be the best) have pulled me to the side to get in my ear about how they can step their game up. And these next six steps I give ‘em are far from being the handbook on how to be a good father but they’re mos def good starting point.

#1 Pray for your children and teach them how to pray.

I don't think a day goes by when Tee and I don't pray for Naomi. For her well being, that she will be everything God wants her to be and that we're doing a good job being her parents. We also taught her at a very early age how to talk to God and to share with HIM what she wants and needs. Now that she’s older, the majority of the time, Tee and I can fall back and let Naomi lead the prayer.

#2 Talk to your kids.

It amazes me how many parents don't talk to their kids. It seems so obvious but a lot of parents don't do it. Everyday when I pick Naomi up from school I ask her what was the best part and worst parts of her day and why. You may be surprised at some of the things you may find out that your kids are going through.

#3. Share with your kids.

And what I mean by "share with your kids" is let them know that you have struggles too. Too many times as fathers we just talk "at" our kids and not "with" them. For example, Nay is VERY impatient...but so am I! So if I'm getting on Nay about being impatient, I gotta throw myself in the mix and say "well, you know daddy needs to learn to be more patient too.” We've gotta let our kids know that we're human too and that we've messed up in the past & will continue to mess up and that none of us are perfect.

#4. Tell your kids you're proud of them. 

The #1 rule in our home is to simply "try.” I know Naomi is not gonna be perfect and get an A+ on every test but I do expect her to try. And not a day goes by when I don't tell Nay that I'm proud of her. One day Nay didn't do her homework right and she said "I didn't do it right, I know you're not proud of me" and I was like "I'm ALWAYS proud of you...even when you don't get it right.

#5 Tell your kids you love them. 

I must tell Naomi I love her 1,000,000 times a day! Everyday when I drop her off at school I ask her "how much do I love you?" And she stretches her arms wide and grunts trying to reach for something (I told her I love her SO much she'll never be able to reach it) and says "that much". It's important that our kids know that we love them no matter what.

#6. Teach your kids to give back. 

When Naomi was 3 we volunteered at our church for Thanksgiving helping to make plates for the homeless and everyone was shocked that we dragged a 3 year old with us. But it was important to us that Naomi saw first hand what giving back looks like. Now when Naomi can't fit something, she'll come to us and say "can I give this to someone who may need it?" I seriously can’t stress how important it is that we teach our kids about helping others.
I remember when I first heard Ed O.G.'s 1st single "I Gotta Have It"...man...I was blown. That beat?!?!? And these dudes were from Boston??!?! Word?!?!? But I guess with NYC's finest Teddy Ted and Speciak K producing money, he couldn't lose. It's funny when "Be A Father..." first dropped, I thought it was wack...too soft. Which actually now makes me respect Ed O.G. THAT much more that he dropped this around the same time N.W.A. had all of us singing "I' Rather F-ck You" and made this his signature song. #Salute




Kil

About the author:

Kil is a relationship coach, producer, writer, photographer, director and co-creator of Marriage Exposed. He has been married 13 years to his beautiful wife Tanya and they have a beautiful daughter together, Naomi. Through Marriage Exposed & coaching couples with Dr. Roz, Kil encourages people to always continue to fight for their marriages and relationships.

Follow him @ Twitter | Facebook| Instagram | Website 

Monday, June 17, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: I'm Married And I Can't Get Laid Too Part 2


Dr. Roz and Kil give a wife advice on how she can get "some" from her husband part 2.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Friday, June 14, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: I'm Married And I Can't Get Laid Too Part 1


Dr. Roz and Kil give a wife advice on how she can get "some" from her husband.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Monday, June 10, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: My Husband Never Sacrifices For Me!

Dr. Roz and Kil give a wife advice on how to deal with her husband who never sacrifices for her.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Sensual Sundays: The Best of Avant


Avant's name may not ring bells with the big boys of R&B but trust, money KEEPS a slow banger in the chamber. Don't believe me? Check out this best of Avant and tell me I'm lying.

Tracklisting: 
Separated
When We Make Love
You Never Had Someone
Can't Wait
Don't Take Your Love Away
4 Minutes
Don't Say No, Just Say Yes
Happy
Read Your Mind
When It Hurts
This Is Your Night
My First Love w/Keke Wyatt
Nothing In This World w/Keke Wyatt
Hot 16
Grown Ass Man
Phone Sex
Imagination
Everything About You
Director

 Link:
The Best of Avant

Instructions On How to Download:
#1 - Click the link that will take you to sendspace.com and click the blue button that says "click here to start download from sendspace." DO NOT click any other "download" buttons.

#2 - Pick the destination of the download (exp. Desktop, C drive, My music, etc.)

#3 - Once the file is finished, it's in a zip file and you'll need to unzip it. Right click the zip file and click "extract" and it will put the music in a regular folder with the mp3 files.

 #4 - At this point you can play the files from your computer but if you want to burn them to CD put the mp3 files into your itunes, real player, etc. library and burn them to CD and enjoy!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: How To Compromise On The Small Things In Your Marriage

Dr. Roz and Kil answer one of their follower's question about how to compromise on the small things in your marriage.




Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Friday, May 31, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: I'm Having Insecurities In My Marriage Since My Husband Cheated

Dr. Roz and Kil answer one of their follower's question on how she can get past her insecurities in her marriage.




Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Monday, May 27, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: I'm Married And I Can't Get Laid!

Dr. Roz and Kil answer one of their follower's question, about a wife who can't get any sex from her husband.

 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Phynyx Ministries: Phynyx Ministries 1st Annual Red Tape Gala


I am so excited about our Red Tape Gala Fundraiser which is an event that publicly celebrates the work of Phynyx Ministries and its many supporters. “Red Tape” represents the angry silence that many Survivors feel and harbor within that must be removed. At the Red Tape Gala, we will honor 5 women who have blazed a trail in the fight to end sexual violence with the "Blaze of Power" Award. We will remove our silence and speak up and out about not only the injustices experienced, but also the freedom from breaking the silence.

The Red Tape Gala will be on June 14th, 2013 at Martin Valley's Mansion in Cockeysville, MD 21030. Tickets will be available for purchase beginning March 9, 2013. You can purchase tickets here or by emailing me at phynyxministries@gmail.com. We will be blasting information out regarding this event on all of our social media sites, which include Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and SocialCam, so please keep an eye out for it. I am looking forward to seeing you there!

With love,
Phynyxx Skyy


 



Angela Wharton

About the author:

Angela D. Wharton is a woman of enormous faith and is the visionary, founder and leader of Phynyx Ministries, a faith inspired advocacy and support program for survivors of sexual assaults. A survivor of a sexual assault herself, Angela is a devoted wife and mother of two young girls on an unchartered mission of healing, wholeness, empowerment and love.

Follow her @ Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Website

Friday, May 24, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: Is My Boyfriend Using Me?


Dr. Roz and Kil answer one of their follower's questions, is my boyfriend using me?




Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Kil: Hard To Say I'm Sorry


Why is it so damn hard to say “I’m sorry.” And I’m not talking about no fake I’m sorry just to shut the person up but a true to life, I’m actually really sorry. While Nay was eating breakfast this morning she was watching Hannah Montana (she’s in throwback mode) and Jackson was talking to his dad and he told him “I already said I’m sorry, you want me to really mean it?” And how many of us think that way? One Valentine’s Day, me and Tee got into this HUGE argument at The Cheesecake Factory about my spending habits and I KNEW without a shadow of a doubt I was right…that is til I got home and checked the checkbook and I was completely wrong. I sat on the couch for a good 2 hours before I could muster enough energy to get up and go to apologize…even though I knew I was dead wrong. So what was the problem? Pride was the problem.

The definition of pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Wow…the sin from which ALL others arise. I’m here to tell cats that there’s NO WAY on earth that you can have a successful marriage if you’re full of pride cause that's gonna stunt you marriage’s growth quick fast and a hurry. And to be honest pride is the reason why a lot of our relationships (family and friends included) are screwed up right now. The funniest thing to me about saying I’m sorry is I’ve seen folk do literally EVERYTHING to try to say I’m sorry…without saying I’m sorry! You know how many times me and Tee were beefing and after hours of not speaking , I walk in the room like “you want something from the store?” What I’m really saying is “I’m sorry” but since folk absolutely refuse to muster those words, me offering to get her something from the store is a peace offering that I (the key word in this sentence is “I” ) want her to take as an apology. But at the end of the day, it’s not an apology.

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." - Proverbs 11:2

There have also been a RACK of times me and Tee have been beefin' and I'll feel like God is telling me to go upstairs to squash it but 9 times outta 10 I've told God, no thanks. (I always think me telling God “no thanks” is better then me just saying “no”) Then hours later when I’m (there’s that word again) finally ready to apologize or squash the beef, now she’s looking straight, which in turns pisses me off even more that I (there’s that news van again…my Philly folk will get that joke) swallowed my pride (but I swallowed my pride when I wanted to, not when God told me to) and now she’s pissed?!?!?! Which just makes the anger and the argument last even longer then what it should have lasted. What I’ve learned after 13 years of marriage, is that when God tells you to do something, you should do it. Don’t be like me and say “no thanks” because maybe when God is telling me to move, He may also be opening up Tee’s heart to forgive me and to accept my apology but if I wait two hours til I feel like doing it, now Tee’s heart is closed. Everything in this game of life is about timing. When a quarterback is throwing a pass to his receiver, that receiver is only open for a split second, throw it too late or too early it’s an incomplete pass or an interception and you don’t move anywhere down the field, you just stay in the same place. In fact, if the ball's intercepted you actually lose ground.

"Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." - Proverbs 13:10

And to be honest, that’s what a lot of us are doing, staying in the same place, moving backwards or not moving anywhere in our marriages because a.) there’s too much pride involved and b.) we’re not moving when God tells us to. So about 5 years ago I made a New Year’s Resolution (I only make ONE every year and I’m proud to say I've kept ‘em all) that I would start admitting when I was wrong. And I took that resolution on full force. I was calling cats saying things like “yo, you were right and I was wrong…Miami should've have taken Dwayne Wade over T.J. Ford” (what can I say? I was a HUGE Texas fan at the time) to actually going to family members (who I felt hurt me) asking for forgiveness based on if I did anything to offend them. I can now say 13 years later that I’m a MUCH better apologizer (is that a word?) then I was when I first got married. First, I had to first understand AND grasp God’s placement for me as the head of the household of my marriage and family and two, I had to come to realize that I couldn’t be a great leader if I was SO prideful that I couldn’t admit when I’m wrong. So, ya’ll already know what this week’ challenge is. If you’re beefing with someone, reach out just to say “I’m sorry.” (not “do you want anything from the store”) Even if you feel like you did nothing wrong, say “I’m sorry if I offended you” or “I’m sorry for whatever part I played in our friendship not being what it was.” I’m telling you, once you learn to keep your pride at bay, you’ll have SO much more peace in your life…trust me on that.

BTW, this one of my favorite songs EVER! I literally sat here with this song on repeat for over a hour while I wrote this. What can I say? My moms raised me on Chicago’s music!



Kil

About the author:

Kil is a relationship coach, producer, writer, photographer, director and co-creator of Marriage Exposed. He has been married 13 years to his beautiful wife Tanya and they have a beautiful daughter together, Naomi. Through Marriage Exposed & coaching couples with Dr. Roz, Kil encourages people to always continue to fight for their marriages and relationships.

Follow him @ Twitter | Facebook| Instagram | | Website 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The Chrysalis: Computer Love - Is That Your Face I See, On My Computer Screen?

Computer Love: Is that your face I see on my computer screen?

Dating in the technology age. Part 1: Creating a dating profile.

So at age 34 I found myself single for the first time in my adult life. I was encouraged by some to get out there as soon as possible and meet someone new. I was even told that the quickest way to get over one man was to get under another. WHAT?? How was that supposed to alleviate me of the pain of a breakup of a 17 year relationship? Luckily, I had other friends (one in particular) who guided me to my faith and encouraged my healing in a healthy way. So after over a year of introspection, prayer, healing, and working on myself and the finalization of my divorce, I decided to try dating. I have experienced some mind boggling, surreal, and ridiculously hilarious people and situations. I have also met quite nice people and made some friends along the way.

Seeing as the majority of my friends were married, I really didn’t know any single people (aside from the ones I met in DivorceCare). I needed someplace where I could meet a wide range of people. Hello internet! I signed up for the typical dating pay sites (you’ve seen them advertised), and found them too expensive for the results I was getting. Really, I was being matched with people I already knew. I don’t need to pay for that. Also, they were all redundant. Like me, everybody was on every site. I cancelled all pay subscriptions and turned my attentions to the free sites and that is where the fun began. Now, I know that some people have the stigma of internet dating is for freaks and serial killers. Not so. But Laura! What about that whole Craigslist Killer horror? Easy. Don’t look for dates on Craigslist! Really people! Over that last 2-3 years I have tweaked my profile and get great feedback. Yes, I am still single. I’m a very busy single mother. I activate and deactivate my profile as my life dictates. Sometimes I don’t have the time to cultivate a possible new relationship. Oh well.

First off be single! No fianc├ęs or spouses. If you are separated, wait until your divorce is final. Separated people have at the very least, legal issues. Legal issues, cause emotional issues. Emotional issues cause bad relationships. Save yourself the pain. Be single!

Step 1: Sign up for the dating website of your choice. For pay sites, if there is a way to opt out of the automatic renewal, do that. Nothing like forgetting to cancel before they charge you again.

Step 2: Upload some photos. Now this is very, very important. If you refuse to have your picture on your profile, you will get little to no interest. My theory is that if you don’t have a picture, then someone is monitoring you. Someone like your WIFE! Ain’t nobody got time for that.

You need three pictures minimum. 1. A nice face shot. Smile in your pictures. If you have nice teeth, or eyes, or dimples, or whatever, potential dates want to see your face without a hat on. 2. A full body shot, and not from 50 yards away. A profile with all face shots puts forth that you are not comfortable in your own body. Size, height, missing limbs, whatever. Put it out there. 3. A photo doing something you love. If you love riding bikes, walking your dog, dancing, tight rope walking, or reading, show something.

Picture Don’ts: 1) Now when I say put it out there, I do not mean your cleavage or other provocative photos. This is for men as well as women. Keep your clothes on. If you want it to show that you are athletic, show some biceps. Show yourself doing something athletic. 2) Pictures with the opposite gender, no one can tell if that is your sister or cousin or whomever. 3) Pictures with someone obviously cropped out (we can still see that badly photoshopped arm around you). For real? The only good picture you have of yourself is with your ex? Next! 4) Pictures with children. I know your kids are gorgeous. Or are those your nieces? Either way, it’s the internet. Don’t post pics of your kids. 5) Pictures of things that are not you. Unless you are a decepticon, I don’t believe that beamer is actually you. Neither is that dog or that sunset on the beach. Stop it.

Step 3: Fill out the profile questions. Either be truthful or outrageously dishonest (for humor). Just remember humor in the basic profile questions doesn’t always play well. Fill out the “about me” section. This is where things can go very wrong. You want to keep this area, short, sweet, and to the point. Remember sweet. That means not angry. DO NOT WRITE A PROFILE IN ALL CAPS. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE YELLING AND VERY ANGRY. IT IS ALSO A PAIN TO THE EYEBALLS!

Spell check and punctuation people! It is vry herd gto reed sumting that is spelld horbly wong Did u evn tayk da tym to reed this mess urself U R also a full grown adult Y R U riting like dis… NEXT!!!!!!!

Don’t fill your profile with the things you don’t want. Three paragraphs maximum. What do you like to do on your free time? Etc. Keep it positive and light and welcoming. Keep the poetry for a later date. Have a friend proofread it. I’ll proofread it! You are done, now it is time to post it.

But that’s not all!!! The truth about internet dating responses:

1. For every message the average male gets, the average female gets approximately 10. If she has a great profile then her numbers go up. What this means is that there will be a lot of no replies for you guys. Do not take it personally. It is not a sign of bad social graces. She just did not choose you at this time and it is unrealistic to send a rejection notice to everyone who sends a message. If a person doesn’t answer, then either they are not interested, not online, or reserving you for future reference. Keep it moving.

2. Men get less messages as well because women want men to make the first move. So she may favorite your profile or send a flirt or wink. If you get any of those notices, it’s your move buddy.

3. There is a sequence of events: Some messaging on line. Then exchange of numbers. Then phone talking/texting. Then meeting. If on your first message you send your number and say call me, that most likely won’t happen. Not enough input to risk having to put someone on your block call list.

Let me know your internet dating woes or triumphs. Send your stories to me at Enter The Chrysalis.

Stay tuned for Part 2: Keeping it cool and level-headed on the internet.



Laura Hernandez

About the author:

Laura Hernandez is an energetic, divorced mother of twins. She is a hypnotist, motivational speaker, life coach and unintentional comedienne. Through sharing her life story of tragedy, struggle and overcoming against the odds, she strives to encourage every person she comes in contact with to transform their lives and live in hope, love, happiness and wholeness.

Follow her @ Twitter | Facebook| Website