Friday, January 18, 2013

A Day In The Life of A Single Parent: Is Chivalry Dead?

I guarantee you that someone has said, “chivalry is dead.”

I have even proclaimed it when I went out on dates with men that wouldn’t hold the door for me to go into a restaurant. I want to know what happened!

Is it the man’s fault for losing the lack of care and generosity towards a woman due to not being raised to respect and honor women? Or maybe it is the woman’s fault because we want to be so independent sometimes that we fail to acknowledge that we have moments of vulnerability and desires to be cared for. I know we sing anthems like “I’m a Survivor” and “Independent Women” while throwing our hands up in the air but it still feels good for a guy to walk the curbside of the sidewalk and let you feel he has some sort of etiquette. It also feels good when you are in a restaurant with a man and he says, “I will pay for it.” Don’t you want to feel like you are being taken care of to some degree? Come on, admit it. You know you want to.

I am not saying that you want flowers at your doorstep every day and pitch a hissy fit if he forgets to open the car door for you. But lately, I have heard complaints from women stating that the guy beeps his car horn for them to come outside, instead of coming to the door to meet them. Steve Harvey made some valid key points in the movie, Think Like A Man. When Zeke (Romany Malco) didn’t open the car door for Mya (Meagan Goode) that was a prime example of how far we have come in the dating world. Are you the chirp, chirp girl? (Watch Think Like A Man, if you haven’t already) Or are you asking that he get out the car and open the car door for you? Hey, how ‘bout the gentleman get out of his car and knocks on your door, to let you know he has arrived.

In order to receive proper care, we have to care for ourselves. Maybe some of us are not setting standards as women and that is why the men treat us any kind of way. I will not leave this all on the women either. I have witnessed certain men watch a pregnant woman struggle to get on the bus with her toddler, while he sits there as if she doesn’t need a seat. Or they are beating you to the bus door when it opens.

So is chivalry dead? I can’t totally say yes. I have witnessed gentlemen holding doors, opening up the car door for their women and walking the curbside while the lady walks inside of the sidewalk. I am trying to raise my son to grab a bag to help a woman out, hold the door for her and pay the check when you are out on a date. He is going to get married one day and he needs to know how to take care of his wife. I have to admit that some women raise their child to take care of them. It’s almost as if their sons are their husbands. But that’s another subject for an upcoming article.

So I will give a shout out to the gentlemen that continue to show chivalry. I appreciate you. Ladies and gents what are your thoughts?

Mar Na Carter

About the author:

Mar Na Carter is a proud parent and self-published author of Massive Thoughts: Free Verse Poetry. She resides in the 215 area code (Philadelphia) where she does spoken-word at various events and church functions. God has led her into the world of fiction and in the process of writing a Christian novel for young adults.

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