How Do I Get My Husband To Stop Being Selfish With Sex?

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice on how a wife can get her husband to stop being selfish in the bedroom.

Should A Married Couple Attend Different Churches?

Dr. Roz and Kil break down should a married couple attend different churches.

My Husband Is Addicted To Drugs!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who's husband is addicted to drugs.

My Husband NEVER Sacrifices For Me!

Dr. Roz and Kil give advice to a wife who's husband doesn't sacrifice for her.

How Do I Tell My Family I'm Marrying Outside My Race?

Dr. Roz and Kil answer a question about marrying outside your race.

Marriage Exposed is the website that talks about what marriage REALLY is...work. It's some of the best work you can sign up for but nevertheless, it's work.

Have you ever wondered what you'd get if you took a clinical psychologist and a hip hop producer and gave them a blog that dealt with marriage, relationships and everything in between? Probably not...BUT if you did, then you'd have Marriage Exposed! With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the "hard times" of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed. Send us your questions or comments and join the conversation!

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Sensual Sundays: The Best of Mint Condition


For this week's Sensual Sunday mixtape, we've got my best of mix for one of my favorite bands (the key word in this sentence is BAND) Mint Condition on tap. With this jawn, you've got some of the dopest slow jams of the 90's all in the same place.

Tracklisting:
Breaking My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes)
U Send Me Swingin'
If You Love Me
You Don't Have To Hurt No More
Is This Pain or Pleasure
Nothing Left To Say
Not My Daddy w/Kelly Price
Forever In Your Eyes
Believe In Us
Pretty Lady w/Charlie Wilson
I'm Ready
So Fine
What Kind of Man Would I Be?
Someone To Love
This Day, This Minute, Right Now
Breaking My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes) (Remix)

Link:
The Best of Mint Condition

Instructions On How to Download:
#1 - Click the link that will take you to sendspace.com and click the blue button that says "click here to start download from sendspace." DO NOT click any other "download" buttons.


#2 - Pick the destination of the download (exp. Desktop, C drive, My music, etc.)


#3 - Once the file is finished, it's in a zip file and you'll need to unzip it. Right click the zip file and click "extract" and it will put the music in a regular folder with the mp3 files.


#4 - At this point you can play the files from your computer but if you want to burn them to CD put the mp3 files into your itunes, real player, etc. library and burn them to CD and enjoy!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

A Day In The Life of A Single Parent: When Does The Music Stop Part 2



In the last article, I addressed Lil’ Poopy’s lyrics and videos on you tube that caused him to be investigated by the Police and Department of Children and Family Services.

Unfortunately, (huge sigh) Beyonce has decided to release a track called “Bow Down B*&!#%@” Now, I am not a huge fan of her work but I try to have an open mind about an artist’s musical direction. Someone came up to me on the job to tell me about the new track and of course, they are a fan but felt the song was a little too much for Beyonce’s style. My family members also mentioned the track with disapproving remarks. So to not judge, I went on youtube and checked it out for myself.

Well… (another huge sigh), I get their points. I know that rivalry is a big part of our hip hop culture. Rappers have been at each other lyrically for decades. So what’s so new about a singer addressing her haters in her new song for the world to hear? Well the problem is that she said, “Bow Down!” Let’s not go into how wrong it is to curse so many times that you can’t notice any of the other lyrics in the song.
And I can see if she said, “Walk Off or Leave Me Alone Chicks/Haters” but “Bow Down?” The only one we are supposed to bow down to is God! Which leads to my next point:  Remember in the Bible when Nebuchadnezzar set up a golden image and commanded everyone in his kingdom to bow down and worship the image with all kinds of music and instruments. Well Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego didn’t bow and was thrown into the fiery furnace. But Praise God they didn’t die and God was in the fire with them. I know I went all biblical just now but this kind of reminds me of what’s going on with Beyonce. First off, we have Jay Z telling us to call him “Hovah” in which is in short for Jehovah and now Beyonce is telling us to “Bow Down” and she doesn’t even take the time to specify that she is talking to her haters.

The lyrics state:
I know when you were little girls

You wanted to be in my world

Don't forget it, don't forget it

Respect that, bow down, b%$#@*&!


Okay, maybe I am being melodramatic but Beyonce might have easily had people mistakenly thinking she was asking her fans to bow down.

Yes, the music is banging, I can’t front but it doesn’t sit well with me spiritually. Also, whatever happened to her stating that she was a Christian?  The word of God tells us to humble ourselves and vengeance is the Lord’s. We shouldn’t take it upon ourselves to go in on someone that it can question our own character. I know it’s hard but God handles our battles. Plus God has the power to control every situation. So humility is a must.

We have little girls looking up to Beyonce and the last thing we need is seeing a young girl at Beyonce’s concert hearing her say, “Bow down b*&%#@!” I’m tired of writing it so shouldn’t she be tired of saying it in the song? I’m just saying….

Oh and by the way, Keyshia Cole,  I am not mad at you! Sometimes there has to be an a solitude voice to stand out of the crowd.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Life After Loss: The 5 Dating Commandments

The big bad world of dating can be intimidating at times, can't it?  Getting ready for a first or second date can feel like preparing to go into battle at times.  Folks gear up with a prepared speech of their life goals, assets, dreams, along with their checklist of qualities that they are looking for in a mate.  This method can be quite boooooooooring, if you ask me.  What ever happened to just casually getting to know each other?  I find that the pressure of dating can be absolved by simplicity.  You are trying to get to know each other; wouldn't it be much simpler if we dissolved the confinements of dating?  By confinements I mean the formalities, i.e. dinner and a movie.  Bleeeeeeeeh!  How can you get to know someone by sitting next to them for two hours in silence?  Dinner becomes about the caliber of restaurant that she is taken to, for her; and, how much do I want to spend without the promise of sex, for him.  I think that both men and women should throw the rules of dating out the window and just take it for what it is, getting to know someone that MAY potentially add something to your life.  Now everyone is different, we all have different standards and deal breakers but at the end of the day, I think we all want the same thing.  We all want honesty, a certain level of class, and we just want it to be easy.  My dating tips are based off of simplicity, is what I think is the problem with love nowadays.  Folks have just forgotten the simplicities of love; it shouldn't be difficult to make your partner happy.

First off, reserve dating ONLY for people that you REALLY want to get to know!  This whole dating different people, several times a week because I'm bored and have nothing to do is a losing battle.  When you date people, "just because" and they don't match up to your liking, just seems like it would leave me with a hopeless feeling.  "Here we go again, another loser" And leaves you questioning, "Are there really any good men or women left?"  The answer is yes, but dating just to date can ONLY leave you with a disdain towards dating.  Eventually, you would be programmed to going on dates with an expectation of negativity.


Second, women MUST drill into their brains that men are VISUAL creatures!  Take it how you want to ladies, but it is what it is.  Men like any and everything that is shiny and new.  Ladies MUST delve into themselves to find that light and confidence that a man cannot resist.  No, not every woman can be a size 5 but wear what you have well.  Carry that thang with confidence, sweetness, and most important, humility.  Doesn't matter what shape or size you are, if your light is bright, it will shine through and through.  You cannot be standoffish, arrogant, or timid, and please, dig deep into your sense of humor ladies; men are silly and sometimes test you.  For men, aahh men lol, YOU have to pick up on her vibe and cater to her mood.  I know y'all are not mind readers, but unfortunately we, yes me too, expect y'all to be.  If she is not throwing a sexual vibe at you, then don't go there.  You don't want the curtain to close before the show starts! I know y'all can't help it sometimes, but its reeeeeeeeally a turn off to some women, sorry.

Third, go somewhere casual to take the pressure of the formality off.  Meet at a bar for drinks or something light to eat, or do something interactive, like bowling, shooting pool, or mini golf for example.  Somewhere where you can talk, laugh, play and get to know each other.  Not only are you able to find the fun side of that person, you also get a glimpse of their attention span.  Can he or she focus on you and only you with others running around?  Also, a casual setting gets rid of the "spending" issue.  Neither party feels that they "owe" anything to each other.

Fourth, BE YOURSELF, not what you think he or she wants you to be.  Discuss morals and ethics to see if you at least have a foundation.  Rome wasn't built in one day and neither is a relationship.  Take time to ask the IMPORTANT questions.  Do they have or want children, what is their relationship like with their parents, siblings, where did they grow up, do they like sports, etc.  Finances are not necessarily important to ask about.  That you will observe in the time getting to know him/her.  Just because they have money doesn't mean they will spend it, just because they spend it doesn't mean they have it.  I understand people want a comfortable life, but it’s really the drive, ambition, and the support system of a person that equals success.

Fifth, be HONEST about what you want, UP FRONT!  Do not be afraid to chase someone away with your honesty.  If you are not a very sexual person, then acknowledge it and do not judge the other person if they are.  We are animals at the end of the day and actually function off of pheromones.  Ladies, there is nothing WRONG with him being attracted to you.  I mean, that’s why he asked you out and you are his trigger.  Just DON'T lead him on, if he has reached the friend zone, then accept it and move on.  Recognize that any time you spend with him, even though you may have said, "we are just friends" a thousand times, is seen as an opportunity to finagle his way into your heart.  Men, same thing.  It shouldn't be about what someone can do for you or keeping someone in your "back pocket" for a just in case situation!  Treat people how you would like to be treated!

Love is a majestic melody that should entrance you; it is overwhelming and cannot be denied.  The chemical balance that is achieved when you find the right partner should give you a glow that can be seen from miles!



Lisa Bell

About the author:

Lisa is a freelance writer living in Florida. She was born in Canada but raised in New York and is from Indian decent, Trinidad actually. She moved to Florida in 1990 and has been working in corporate America for 16 years. She has two amazing children, a 15 year old son and 10 year old daughter and she is a widow. She enjoys reading, writing and socializing.

Follow her @ Twitter

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The Chrysalis: What Is Love?


For most of my life I couldn't tell you what the definition of love was.

I definitely had amassed an exhaustive list of what it was NOT.  I kept adding to that list over the years. The list was something like this.

No name calling.
No aggression.
No cheating.
No mental games.
No lying.
No alienation.
No abandonment.
No pushiness.
No bullying.
No disloyalty.

And on and on and on....

My focus was on what I did not want.  Of course as I have learned, what you focus on is what you ultimately get. So as I left my "family of origin" with my "no go" list. I ran right into the same things and ironically lived the second 17 years much in the same manner as the first 17.  In fear of rejection, disapproval, anger, and abandonment. All the while receiving it on a daily basis.  Less physical bruises, but physical bruises heal much faster than emotional and spiritual bruises.

Everybody's definition of love varies according to their needs and Love Language. One friend put it to me very succinctly "You want love and security and affection and all that fly sh**".  Exactly!

Security is my number one issue (for obvious reasons). Which to me means my safety is assured not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I don't like relational surprises like...I'm still angry about something from 3 weeks ago that I didn't tell you about...or....Surprise! I just got hit up for child support for a kid you didn't know about (I just made that one up). This requires very open, simple, to the point communication. I don't like to try and decipher meaning from someone elses words and neither do I like someone interpreting my words different from how I meant or stated them. So, I'm very direct...most of the time.

Never focus on what you don't want.  That is what you get. I repeat this often:  You don't drive a car down the road looking at the ditch telling yourself not to drive into that ditch. Guess what? In that ditch you will go. Simply because that is where you were looking.  Keep your sight focused on what you want and let the rest sit in the ditch.

So what is love to you? I'm not talking about chiseled abs or long flowing hair.  I'm talking about things that last. What do you want from love? Whether it is romantic love or friendship.

Laura Hernandez

About the author:

Laura Hernandez is an energetic, divorced mother of twins. She is a hypnotist, motivational speaker, life coach and unintentional comedienne. Through sharing her life story of tragedy, struggle and overcoming against the odds, she strives to encourage every person she comes in contact with to transform their lives and live in hope, love, happiness and wholeness.

Follow her @ Twitter | Facebook| Website

Monday, March 11, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: "7 Reasons To Seek Marriage Counseling Part 6"


Dr. Roz and Kil continue their series, 7 reasons to seek marriage counseling. Part 6 deals with when the only solution is separation.




Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Sensual Sundays: The Best of The Isley Brothers


"Usually had the slow grooves on, mostly rocked the Isleys..." - Notorious B.I.G.

This is the kinda music your Uncle Rufus would listen to when he'd come over your grandmom's crib to work on his car out back aka the kinda music that black folk don't make no more.

Tracklisting:
Between The Sheets
Voyage To Atlantis
Don't Say Goodbye (It's Time For Love)
Choosey Lover
I Once Had Your Love (And I Can't Let Go)
Let's Fall In Love
Hello It's Me
Summer Breeze
Footsteps In The Dark
Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight
(At Your Best) You Are Love
For The Love of You
The Highway of My Life
Let Me Down Easy
Make Me Say It Again Girl

Link:
The Best of The Isley Brothers Slow Jawns

Instructions On How to Download:

#1 - Click the link that will take you to sendspace.com and click the blue button that says "click here to start download from sendspace." DO NOT click any other "download" buttons.


#2 - Pick the destination of the download (exp. Desktop, C drive, My music, etc.)


#3 - Once the file is finished, it's in a zip file and you'll need to unzip it. Right click the zip file and click "extract" and it will put the music in a regular folder with the mp3 files.


#4 - At this point you can play the files from your computer but if you want to burn them to CD put the mp3 files into your itunes, real player, etc. library and burn them to CD and enjoy!

Friday, March 8, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: "7 Reasons To Seek Marriage Counseling Part 5"


Dr. Roz and Kil continue their series on 7 reasons to seek marriage counseling. Part 5 deals with when partners begin to act out on their negative feelings.


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

A Day In The Life of A Single Parent: "When Does The Music Stop?"


All of us have to admit that music has drastically changed since the 90’s. There were music that pushed the envelope with the likes of R. Kelly’s Bump and Grind, Dr. Dre’s The Chronic and Snoop Doggy Dog’s Doggstyle and before my Christian/Grown-up days, I was a huge fan of gangster rap not knowing it might be a prerequisite of the ratchet, raunchiness we hear today. Not all music is terrible but good music these days are far and few in between. We no longer hear metaphors or similes that describe love-making, if love is being mentioned at all. People are straight to the point about what it is they want. Some songs are so lyrically forward that it could make Hugh Heffner blush. Which brings me to my next point: Lil’ Poopy.

There are news reports floating around on the internet about a nine year old rapper name, Lil’ Poopy a.k.a Luie Rivera, Jr, who was on the rise to rap stardom. The youngster rapped about slapping a woman’s behind in his music videos on youtube and there were reports that some powerful people in the music industry were interested in signing him. What in the world is going on? What makes it even sadder, is the fact that Lil’ Poopy’s Father condoned the youngster’s behavior. Luie Rivera, Sr. actually videotaped his son and was basically supporting his career. When asked about why he would allow his son to rap in this fashion, he claims if white kids can get awards for playing certain scenes in movies that include violence and sexual content, then why can't his son rhyme? Wow! So if white actors jumped off of roofs, you would push your son off one too?
                  
I understand that in today’s society we see and hear all kinds of things. The entertainment industry is heavily influencing people with violence, drugs and sex. But that doesn’t mean we all have to jump on
the band wagon and promote our children to join in the crazy fun. There are boundaries that Rivera Sr. crossed when he allowed his son to perform in this fashion.
                  
Of course, the police took notice of the music videos of Lil’ Poopy and now the Department of Children and Families are investigating the youtube videos of him.  The attorney who represents the pint-size rapper believes that his client has First Amendment rights and that it was just entertainment. But the police beg to differ and called it "distasteful." Maybe, it is a bit extreme to get cops involved in the situation but Lil’ Poopy didn’t understand he would gain attention not just from peers but from the men in blue as well.
                  
There has been a domino effect since last year’s incident with Chief Keef and Lil’ JoJo which was another terrible event of affairs that involved the death of Lil’ JoJo. I am a lover of music but I didn’t notice there was a musical stench under my nose. This kind of music is slipping in the back door like a mistress and our children are recipients of it. I am raising a nine-year old son, who needs positive influences during this impressionable time in his life. 
                  
Have we lost our morals and direction that we gladly glorify violence and sex over education and morality? Lil’ Poopy doesn’t know what to do with woman sexually and the last time I checked, grown women shouldn’t be in his videos letting him slap their booties. It’s called pedophilia and our children deserve better. But the music industry begs to differ. What are your thoughts?



Mar Na Carter

About the author:

Mar Na Carter is a proud parent and a self-published author of Massive Thoughts: Free Verse Poetry. She resides in the 215 area code (Philadelphia) where she does spoken-word at various events and church functions. God has led her into the world of fiction and in the process of writing a Christian novel for young adults.

Follow her @ Twitter | Website | Blog

Monday, March 4, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: "7 Reasons To Seek Marriage Counseling Part 4"


Dr. Roz and Kil continue their series on 7 reasons to seek marriage counseling. Part 4 deals with when the partners don't know how to resolve their differences.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook

Friday, March 1, 2013

Dr. Roz and Kil: "7 Reasons To Seek Marriage Counseling Part 3"


Dr. Roz and Kil are continuing their series on 7 reasons to seek marriage counseling. Part 3 deals with when both parties are just occupying space.
 


Dr. Roz and Kil

About the authors:

Dr. Roz and Kil are relationship coaches and the creators of Marriage Exposed. They have been coaching couples and families for over 5 years. With a mixture of therapeutical strategies, biblical principals, practicality and laughter, Dr. Roz and Kil not only coach couples through the hard times of their relationships but they continue to impart wisdom, after their storms have passed.

Follow them @ Twitter | Facebook